All of me
by parampara pari
Summary: When the bad boy of the school and the bad girl of the school meet... Something happens. Something bad. Or is it good for them? People are not actually what they pretend to be. Tris and Four as they travel through the rough road of their lives. Will the stones on path break them apart or will they have a potential future ahead. Fourtris. Modernday. 16 plus age only
1. Author's note

**AN: Hey guys! Don't mind if I get any part of this wrong. I've always wanted to write a fanfic. This is my first one. I may not update initially but hang in there.**

**I do not own any part of divergent. Not its characters not the story. Nothing. Everything is the beautiful creation of Veronica Roth.**

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	2. It's Just Me

**Tris POV**

I swat the alarm clock off my side table and it goes gliding towards my bathroom door.

Ughhhhh! I hate mondays. I shift slightly to tuck my head back under my pillow and sleep away to glory.

and now my fucking phone starts ringing*

Fucking Christina again. God, i'm gonna kill this girl.

Okay okay sorry guys! Back up. You probably want to know who the hell Christina is. Well, what my sleepy mind can currently recall is that she is my best best friend. You know the ones who stick with you through storm and calm.

I met Chris when I was in middle school. We hit it off right away. Mom would drop me at her place early morning 6 fucking a.m. every day before she went to work and we used to go to school together. Oh and her mom is simply amazing!

I pick up her phone and grunt in a hello.

Chris: where the hell are you Tris Prior!! I am going to leave without you if you're not here in 5. I've been honking at your doorstep since the past half an hour.

Tris: God Chris, how can anyone be so loud right in the morning. I'm sorry okay. I had a late night yesterday. Could you come in for a sec. Key is under the fake poop toy in the front lawn. I need outfit suggestions.

I end the call cause i know she will never come up if i don't end the call. There would be a full blown Chris lecture right in the morning for me instead of a cream bagel for breakfast.

Chris is a fashion genius. She wants to be a fashion designer when she graduates and I know she will make the best one.

Ibegrudgingly get out of the covers and make way to brush my teeth. As soon as I get out of the washroom after doing my business, my face is attacked with a pile of clean clothes and an angry Chris.

Uh oh! not a good sign.

Chris blew up, "Tris, you know I have to meet Will today. I am getting in the car and I want you there in five. And i got you starbucks. So hurry or ill drink yours."

To be honest, the starbucks part did the trick for me. I rushed back in and put on the clothes that Chris picked out for me. Put on my make up, flung my bag over my shoulder and rushed downstairs with a doughnut from the kitchen in my hand on the way to the front door.

While we drive to the school, I should tell you about myself. I am a senior in Dauntless high school. My parents... Well. Lets just keep it short. My parents are Andrew and Natalie Prior, the Andrew and Natalie Prior. All day, all night working hard in their office. My mom and dad work for the government, interstate affairs to be specific. Both of them love their job.

Recently mom and dad got a salary raise and with more money comes more responsibility. So they come home late,often leave for work trips and always are out doing work. By always i mean even Saturdays and Sundays.

I was practically raised by Chris's mom and a nanny till 4th grade when I told them to fire the nanny. I told them I'll not eat of they didn't

I have not been able to accept till date why i told them to do that. It was that incident that has ever been etched in my mind which never ever allowed me to talk about it. It was really...

I don't want to talk about it right now. So lets move on.

I have an elder brother, Caleb. He is an ANGEL. Five years ago he graduated and left for college. He is now engaged to his high school sweetheart and my former 'only' friend, Susan. They live in New York. Caleb's almost done with college and then he wishes to join mom and dad in their fucking job. Susan is a high school teacher, successful and breathtakingly beautiful. Every man's dream and the perfect fiancé.

You know i often feel that everyone around me has a perfect life. And even though i am also a part of their perfect life, my own life sucks.

I feel lonely when I'm home cause this home is not home anymore it's just four walls and a few pieces of furniture, no mom, no dad, no sibling, no friends, just me.

Till the point when Caleb was there for me, I could rant out my middle school rivalries to him. At least he would listen. Now i don't even have a Caleb to rant out to. He comes home on holidays but even holidays seem like normal days because when mom and dad are home, they want to rest and refresh themselves for 'tomorrow'.

I am not saying that I lack material wealth or something like that. I am A RICH BITCH, but money really doesn't matter if you don't have people there for you.

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**(AN: Guys please please please! share and comment with suggestions and your opinions it matters a lot)**

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	3. The Gang

"Earth to Tris!!!! What the hell is wrong with you today?! Had a long night huh?", Chris asks wiggling her eyebrows.

"Chris you know, he was kinda... A bad kisser so I let him go to Kristen. You should've seen her. Bitch she was hammered hard."

Chris started, "Come on girl, Trevor's a poor guy. I know you have this reputation shit to hold up. I have heard the story a million times, but think about it. You should really try to date, sweetheart. "

"Chris you know I don't date! Just stop setting me up now. AAAAND Trevor kinda likes Kristen...Good for him, I let him go. They hooked up in the small closet in the guest bed room."

"What am I going to do with you Tris", she huffed.

She pulls up into a spot right next to Will's truck, kills the engine and gets out of the car. I pick up my half empty Starbucks and join her at the school gates where our friends are waiting for us.

While Chris goes on to practically eat up Will's face, Uriah pinches my cheek screeching out in his ridiculous baby voice,

"How is my Trissy-poo doing?" all the while stretching the hell out of my cheeks.

I push off Uri's hand and tackle home to the ground locking him in there.

"Fuck off Uri. You know i hate that voice.", I whine.

"Woah there princess, you're feisty today. Boys will be crushing on you.", Uri says.

Marlene, Uri's girlfriend says "cmon bro, when do they not. So Tris, who was the lucky guy this weekend huh." she wiggles her eyebrows.

"Mar, bebe how many times have i told you not to call me bro. Its awkward!" Uri says.

"Okay jeez, we need to get to class now get up BROOOO!!", she runs away.

"Tris get off me! I need to get back at you Mar. Just wait and watch!", Uri yelled.

"First promise me your dauntless cake at lunch today.", I challenged.

"Tris you're so cruel. No fucking way I'm giving you my precious baby. I am happy being stuck here for the rest of the day! Bruh no. Heck no!!!!!!!"

I jumped off Uri and gave him my hand giving back to him in my own baby voice, "Just kidding Uri, you took it seriously. Go get your girl!"

Chris and Will finally get their tongues out of each others throats and we head to class.

Will and i practically have the same classes. However Chris and I have all our classes same. As I head to my locker, I cringe at the very name on the locker beside mine.

The very popular,... rude,... presumptuous,... impertinent,... snobbish,... contumelious,... dashing,... sexy,... dazzling,... impeccably beauti...

Shit. Where are my thoughts going.

Well FOUR EATON. I ridiculously wanted to scratch that name out. Who the hell has a number for a name.

... I am sure its a surname.

Well, Four was literally four. He was the most snobbish cocky person I had ever met.

Sure. He was popular, just because he is the quarterback of the school football team... and he is really attractive.

Oh god Tris stop!

Four thinks that he can sleep around with every girl in school because everybody is practically begging him.

I know, I know back up. You must be thinking that I am a slut so who the hell am I, asking Four to stop. No I'm not actually a slut.

I PRETEND to be one. I at least get someone to distract my mind with and everybody who I sleep with is anyways single.

Back up! I don't even sleep around actually. I make out with them in my room. They are usually so drunk that they forget what happened the other night and i never say ANYTHING.

They just assume themselves that something happened the previous night and they happily go around flaunting about how hot and heavy their night was.

You must be thinking I am a jerk for doing this. But its the one thing that at least keeps me company on weekends when my parents are away on some business trip.

I never force a guy to come with me. Everything is consensual. I could never do that to anyone.

Sometimes guys would hold me. Other times not. But I'm usually just happy to forget and drink down all the loneliness within me. So i think of it as a win win.

People say that I am desirable... Like Four. The truth is that we are sooo miles apart.

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**(AN: Guys please please please! Share and comment with suggestions and your opinions it matters a lot)**

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	4. Dauntless High

(AN: technically this is part 4...so here we go;-))

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We reach class. Tori's class, Tori's the one teacher I'm close to. She doesn't know much about the conditions back at home and I have been having a constant battle every single day whether to ask her for help or not. I sit down beside Chris and divert my attention to Will.

"So Will, how was you holiday?"

Will makes a face and wraps an arm around Chris to lean forward, "As expected, the cabin was not clean so I was stuck doing a bunch of cleaning jobs there. I had warned dad about the cabin condition but he insisted that my cousins wanted to go there forever."

Will's parents own a cabin in Miami. But it really would have been a waste of time of you go there for a weekend and are just stuck cleaning out bird poop, dust and dry leaves.

Someone slides across from me and puts an arm around my shoulder.

" You looking hot there Prior. Wanna meet me after class", I take in the breathy voice in my ear. I tilt my head to the side and sigh.

"Do you ever stop?" I reply and push his head back.

"You just have to tell me Babe. And FYI, I stop only after I get what I want.", Four smirks.

WHAT THE HELL FOUR!!

"Piss off! You clearly have enough". I turn around facing him sideways. "Actually, more than enough. So stop pestering me right in the morning. You know there are plenty of girls out there who want to get into your pants. And you always have your Nita right there." I reply pointing to the door.

Sure, there she was. Nita Sarloy. The second most popular girl in school. The first one being me obviously, duh.

Nita was a total slut. Here she was wearing shorts as short as her panties and a top as cropped as her bra with a cropped hot pink jacket. Eww... to girly for my liking.

I look over to Four who has his head down in his hands trying to cover his face from her.

As Nita comes towards this table, he grabs his bag off his lap and shoves it into the only seat empty behind him.

"Heyyy baby, did you save me a seat. You're so sweet". She leans into him, almost shoving her cleavage into his face. Making a pouty face for him to kiss on.

"Actually Nita that was for Zeke. You can sit somewhere else." Four sighs.

"You're a jerk. You know that right", Nita hits back and puts her head held high and walks away to the back seat where the guy next to her was practically ogling on. What a jerk... just trying to get into her panties. What was his name again.. Alfred... Albert? Whatever...

She sat down at the seat, turned to the guy and started flirting with him.

"Bro, she really thinks she can make you jealous huh?".

Here comes Zeke, Eziekal Pedrad, Uri's brother. Both are almost the same age. Zeke is just 10 months older than Uri. Oh and I forgot to mention. Zeke is Four's best friend. There is this rumour going on since last month in our friend circle that Zeke knows Four's real name even though he denies it.

The Pedrad brothers are like the Scott twins from Percy Jackson. The cartoons of the school. The day is totally empty without them.

"Let her keep imagining things", Four says.

"Why do you even lead her on so much", Zeke points out.

"Bruh, seriously, you're saying that I am leading her on.. You kidding me right. Zeke I've lost the count to how many times I've rejected her telling her that I am not interested in a relationship. She just doesn't budge."

OKAAAAAY. Now I have to fucking tell him." Four Eaton don't you dare lie about this. I know Nita's a bitch but that doesn't give you the fucking right to just lead her on like that. You simply can't. And if you interject me right there, think again cause I know you hooked up with her last night at Kristen's party. I heard you two."

"Ewwwww. You have a fascination with hearing Nita moan. Tris what were even doing there." Chris says.

"OMG CAN YOU GUYS SHUT IT. I was just going to the bathroom."

"Just so your clear Tris, it was Nita who dragged me into that room. Even though I told her I'm not interested in this relationship thing AGAIN last night she assured me that it was just a one time thing."

" Woah chill! Number boy. You're behaving like you're four. Why did you even have sex with her if you were not sure she would stop with her crap?"

"You know what, I think you of all people should understand me better, shouldn't you. After all, don't you have a line of boys wagging their tails like dogs behind you. Puppets in your hands."

Fucking Four, he crossed the line now.

"Oh like you! Shut the fuck up Four. You don't even know how to talk. Just get your ass out of here or I'll beat it up. And just so you know your THIS attitude will take you nowhere, literally no where. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend."

Ouch I admit that was harsh. He deserves it. He really crossed the line there.

"Tris you know you really are going to regret this when you wake up to me in bed one-" Four replies cockily.

Zeke yells at us, "Fucking cut it out guys. Tori's here."

Both of our heads snap towards the table and Tori stands there fuming and looking at us. Only then do we notice that practically all the people in this room have their eyes glued on us.

We get our books out with the most innocent face we can come up with.

Tori glares one last time and starts the lesson about physical education basics.

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(AN: Guys! I hope you like the story! Let me know. Vote share and comment with suggestions and your opinions it matters a lot)

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	5. Dauntless High 2

Tori ends her lesson about how the body gets stimulated and energized after a good workout. Apparently we were going to get theory questions in our final physical education terminal examination. Shoot me already!

I ignore Four for most of the lesson and concentrate on what is being taught ahead. When we get up to leave, Tori stops us both on our way out.

"Tris and Four, I want you guys to stop for a second. I want to talk to you."

Irritated and reluctantly, I stand there in front of her and Four joins me. Chis whispers an all the best in my ears on her way out and I give her a grateful look.

"So, what happened up there just now."

"Tori, he was the one who started it. He is such a di-- stupid person."

"Don't you dare Tris, no ma'am, you were the one who told me to 'fucking' Shut up"

"Enough both of you, just because I know you both a little more than the other students in class, its doesn't mean that I will be forgiving you EVERY SINGLE TIME. I am a teacher here and I am supposed to keep students in line. And how many times do I need to repeat myself, NO SWEARING IN THE CLASS. Please tell you beloved friend to. What you guys pulled out today was not expected and if I were not Tori, you'd both be having a nice little chat with the principal right now. so suck it up both of you. You guys really have to put up the whole year with each other."

I feel guilty now. Tori's been an absolute angel to me till date. I don't want to disappoint her.

Four grunts out a sorry to Tori and I follow.

Finally, she says, "... and please call me Mrs.Wood. At least inside the school building."

"Yes, Mrs. Wood. "

"Thank you so much, you may leave now".

We both back off the door and stand awkwardly in the hallway. I pluck up the courage and go first. But Four's voice comes up at the same time as mine.

"I'm sorry." We both sigh and I continue

"I was really bad to you today. I'm so sorry. I never thought that Nita could have done that and I just assu--"

"Shh", he places his fingers on my lips and his beautiful blue eyes stare into my soul. It's intense and its surprisingly... refreshing.

Someone looking at me like that.

"Its okay Tris. I have long forgotten about that. But I am really sorry to.. um hurt you like that. You're not a slut. Boys come behind you because you're simply amaz--... um I - uh mean um... You're absolutely... um--"

I smile against his finger on my lips and whisper, "It's okay Four."

He give me a gorgeous smile and his finger lingers for a second longer and my breath hitches.

I avert my eyes from his intense gaze and walk past him just because I knew...

If i would have stood there a minute longer... I think I might have kissed him.

I don't know why but my heart hammers in my chest.

Pacing a hundred miles a minute. I round around the bathroom close the door to a stall, press my back against it and huffed out a sigh.

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(AN: There it is, your fourtris fluff. ;-);-);-) go on bad boy, get your girl !!!)

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	6. The Coming Friday

(AN: Okay guys! I'm just giving this a try... Its my first Four pov.. Tbh i'm scared ill mess up but let's see what happens... Also the second half of the song majorly applies to this chapter.)

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Four POV

We exit the classroom as Tori starts to clean up her desk. She was right, we have to bear with each other for the rest of the year. Tris is the head cheerleader and me being the quarterback. We both will have a lot more of our schedule in common than we would will for it to be.

I really don't hate Tris but neither do I like her. It's... actually hard to wrap my mind around what she thinks about me. I may come across as a douche but I really didn't mean anything of what I said to Tris.

I can not deny this though... I do sleep around but it's a just a way of escape for me.

I dread every single night to go back home. If it can even be called a home.

At least back at the girls houses I get a comfortable bed to sleep on.

My dad is filthy rich. Marcus Eaton, Ex-President and current member of interstate affairs council.

I own a Bugatti Divo and I think that's proof enough to show how rich my dad actually is. But back at home, even though my mattress is soft and inviting, it brings me horrible dreams... Especially dreams of that night.

The night.. when... I lost her. Because of him.

A person is much more complicated than he looks or poses to be. I flirted in class with Tris today... I always do just because I feel that I may have at least a tiny chance with her. Just one night. She is the Only girl who gives me such a hard time.. Always pushing my boundaries, constantly testing me and not giving in easily. To be honest... I like that. She is incredibly beautiful and brave. Unfortunately, whatever we share in bed, if that ever becomes true will have to remain restricted to the bed.

I can't open up to her... I can't drag her into my mess.

Tori's only one of the very few who knows about me. Her husband and the school's football coach Amar found out about me years ago, I broke down and told them everything. Other than them, Hana Pedrad Zeke's mom is the only one who knows about me.

The beating was bad last night.. The asshole was drunk...again and he found out I had an A on my math and apparently it was still not up to his expectations. He wanted an A. So I laid all night on my bed lulling myself to sleep with Linkin Park blasting into my ears after I got back home from Kristen's.

I felt different after the 'talk' with Tris in class.

I really felt my insides burning with shame.. shame of not living up to her expectations... I hate the image she has created of me in her mind.

Am I really such a mindless asshole.

I don't want to be that but it gives me a cover... a cover to bury all my pain inside. I can't let them know or else I'll loose... everything.

I can feel Tris turn towards me in the hallway as I'm snapped out of my thoughts.

I should apologize.

"I'm sorry." We both sigh... like we just are relieved to cut through the palpable tension. She continues before me, "I was really bad to you today. I'm so sorry. I never thought that Nita could have done that and I just assu--"

As I see her ramble on about how wrong she was, I can't help but smile... She looks freakin cute. I am staring at her dumbly as she rambles on. I decide that i need to shut this rambling or I'll blurt out something wrong.

I can feel my heart skip a beat when I place a finger on her lips to make her stop talking... without thinking of the consequences.

Dang it bruh.. What the fucking he'll am i doing. Her soft lips feel like a feather on my rough finger and this is killing me.

Bro think of something!!! Anything. What's wrong with you!!?? I mentally freak out.

Open you fucking goddamn mouth FOUR FUCKING EATON.

Involuntarily my mouth opens, "Shh",

... (blank again) as I gawk at her this time, my mind pieces up a sentence that is not actually a sentence.

"Its okay Tris. I have long forgotten about that. But I am really sorry to.. um hurt you like that.", (tell her what you really think... C'mon you can do it), "You're not a slut. Boys come behind you because you're simply amaz--... um I - uh mean um... You're absolutely... um--"

Shit bro... You're gone.

My heart stops completely as she give me her adorable smile and whispers with her soft lips against my finger, "It's okay Four."

I can't help but smile at the way she whispered that. Just for a moment... A small moment. I felt like... I was with her and only her and I was falling for her... slow and steady.

When she averted her eyes and walked past me i was pulled back out, back to my reality. Where I was nothing more than a playboy, in bed with a different girl every night.

Something I never wanted to be.

As she rounded around the wall and disappeared, I knew that it was not a moment that we just shared.

I was not capable of loving anyone.

It was just lust, it had to be, my body craving for what I can't get.

I looked down to the huge bulge in my pants..

Bro this thing has a mind of its own.

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(AN: Thank you guys for checking out my chapters. Though I'm a bit bummed that you don't give any suggestions or point out any mistakes but i still love you guys!!!! Enjoy and do let me know if I did okay in my four pov or not! Bye . Love ya.)

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	7. The Coming Friday 2

I ignored the goosebumps and walked to the washroom in the boys locker room, changed into my gym clothes.

Zeke snaps me out of my fantasy as he yells, "Al bro, do you even know, Four, my man here is a genius at picking up women.. Request away. I'll make sure he fulfills that."

"Hey Four!", Albert says.

Al is a transfer student. He came here 2 months ago. A bit lousy with his work but I think he can manage just fine.

"Hey Al, wassup. Who is this girl Zeke is talking about?", I ask him smirking.

"It's a girl in our vocals class.. everybody knows her, you know, she's smoking hot. I just don't know how to talk."

"Al, he's super smooth with ladies, don't worry. So just tell us already who this girl is.", Zeke buts in.

"Its better if you see her... You'll be salivating by the time you ask her name. Bro... Just one night. Then maybe, she agrees on a second date." Al continues.

Now I'm really curious. I've never seen Al describe a girl to me like that.

"Okay... I'll help you, but only if I haven't slept with her", I say pointing my finger at him.

"Bro you're in danger zoneee, slim chances he hasn't slept with her if she is that hot.", Zeke TRIES to whisper into his ear.

"I think you're in the mood for a punch today Zeke". That asshole laughs off at my comment. He knows I'll not hit him.

"Okay so Four, I'm having a party on Friday.. You gotta come man. Mom's away for the coming weekend. I think it will be easier to help Al there". Turning to Al, he asks, "Your mystery girl will be there won't she?"

Al blushes a bit, "Yep she'll be there... She always comes to the school parties."

"Great, now let kick some asses on the field" he says as he walks out.

As I start to leave behind Zeke, Al stops me saying" Four I'm sorry man but I think you have already slept with her but please help me. You know I'm bad with girls... I--"

"I'll see what I can do man", I say with a nod and head out to the track field.

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"Good game, Eaton", Amar says as I walk towards him smirking.

"They chose to keep him in?", I ask.

"Yeah, unfortunately. He doesn't deserve this position but it's not in my hand alone kiddo.", Amar frowns.

Hayes, jersey no. 14, centre-midfield. Peter Hayes was caught for doping last year's finals. His 'judgement' , was today. Was he to stay in the team or not.

Of course they chose to keep him in... No punishments at all... Just a warning. His dad is a big shot, a contributor of the Dauntless football team and therefore a part of the school football council. I fucking hate him.

"Practice over, extra time tomorrow. Clear your schedules, boys. Pack up now", he yells.

"So it's a wrap of the day." he says and goes on to pat my back. I wince.

"Sorry kiddo, it was bad last night?", Amar asks.

"At least I didn't pass out.", I answer.

"Okay come on, take a shower. Tori will wrap you up.", Amar says coolly.

I like this about Amar and Tori, they never saw me as a kicked puppy. As a coward or some 'poor' little boy. They saw me as a survivor. Someone patient and strong from within. Someone who doesn't break real easy.

I jog to catch up with Zeke.

"Bro, Hayes is still in."

"Are you fuckin kidding me. How is that douchebag still in? Has Amar gone crazy. You know I'm sure he's fuckin someone on the council. His dad alone can't save him!"

"You know Amar can't do much in here", I defend.

"Yeh Yeh whatever, I know that but dude really who the hell invites himself to a party and forces himself into the circle of truth and dare where he doesn't get one shit of attention. Doesn't he have any self respect". Zeke yells.

"Well if he had any he would not be on the team right now."

As Peter passes us towards the locker room. Zeke yells to him. "Kiss my ass, Hayes."

Peter makes a face and runs ahead to the locker room.

"What a fucking Pancycake"

We freshen up in our locker room and I wait in the shower for most of the guys to leave. I usually stay back to practice more so that all of them have left but today i need to make Marcus a 5 star meal. I don't even know what that means.

As Zeke waits for me today I tell him that I had to talk to Amar about college and he could leave.

I take out my fresh shirt and my wrap and head to Amar's room.

"Ewwww Four, who the hell wears the same sweaty shirt after a shower", Tori grimaces.

"I left my extra extra shirt at home Tori. And I need to rush back early"

"Okay up up Amar, let him sit down". She waves him to get up while I pull off my shirt. It already has a few small stains but it's not that bad.

Tori starts to wipe down my back gently and she starts wrapping up expertly. I flinch much less today as I feel the wrap going up and down my abdomen.

"Soooooooo... what was that in class today Four?", Tori asks while she continues.

"What was what?", I ask pretty innocently. I know exactly what she is referring to.

... The argument with Tris.

"Cut out the act Four. You know that I don't like putting up with crap. Just get to the point.", she commanded.

I mumble into my mouth, "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"What is it that you're not telling me guys?", Amar chips in from the stretcher bed we have in his office.

"Just the fact that our old guy here had a huge ass argument with the girl he likes in class and was just going to go to the principal's office today.", Tori says without a care.

"What the fuck Tori. And we always argue. There's nothing new there. It was just a disagreement. That's all. End of discussion."

"Mr. Eaton", she starts full of sass, "don't you dare deny that you like her. You Mister, I have seen you at your most vulnerable points of life so don't you fucking think that I am naive when it comes to your feelings. You know...I saw both you outside the room... I didn't want to disturb you so I decided to stay inside a bit longer. Duh... You looked like you were ready to pass out when you touched her."

Even though she is so close to the description of how bad I was freaking out, I feel passing out is a word too less intense for what I felt like. Ughhhhh...now I have an other thing to worry about.

Amar.

As if on cue, his voice booms through my ears, "Now I, really need to know the name of this girl. You should ask her out."

"It's our T--", Tori starts but I cut her off.

"TORI STOP!"

Amar has always tried to set me up. He thinks dating will take my mind off things at 'HOME'. I know he must be right to some extent, but, I don't want a relationship of pity. I will certainly not be opening up to whoever the hell is my partner and that's final. I can't drag anyone else into this mess.

"I don't date Amar. You know that. So quit trying.", I say with a huff.

"Okay stop huffing away like that. I'll stop okay", he puts his hands up by his side.

I take a last look at him as Tori finishes wrapping up my back. I slip on my fresh sweatshirt and leave their office when Tori yells after me, "You never said that you don't like her. Give it a shot number boy."

I glare back at her as I continue down the hallway.

I can see her shoulders moving as she laughs and Amar asking her about the girl again. Before she can answer, I yell out to her, " I'll fucking kill you Tori. Don't you dare tell him."

But after all she is Tori. She leans over to Amar and whispers in his ear. At the same time Amar's eyes widen.

Dang it!

* * *

(AN: Here you go!)

* * *


	8. The 7th And 8th Wheel

Tris POV

I grabbed an apple and my favourite milkshake, making my way to our usual lunch table.

"Guys, I'm bored to death", Uri whined.

"Stop being a baby Uriah.", Mar said, smacking him upside down. As he laid his head on her shoulder. "I'm tired honey... Sleep on your own shoulder."

God these two are crazyyyy... Mad in love.

I never believed in Love, maybe because I was never open to the idea of it.

Its been two days since the incident with Four. I've tried to avoid him for the past two days but unfortunately, since we run in the same friends circle, we...

have to sit on the same table.

I think after all, the hate is mutual because he has been sitting awfully away from me these days. If I sit in the extreme right corner of the table he would sit in left extreme, out of my view and far far away from me.

There are usually extra chair spots on our table, he would even skip those there.

He usually flirts nonstop in the table with me picking on my tray and wrapping a hand around my chair's back. He has been awfully quiet these two days.

"Four, my man, you've been awfully quiet what's wrong?", Zeke starts.

"Nothing, just the math test coming up. I haven't started on it yet.", He says looking down.

"Wait since when did you even start worrying about tests Four", Shauna asks.

Shauna is Zeke's girlfriend and one of my close friends. She loves to shop, just like Chris and usually I'm the one out of all 4 girls who is the socially awkward shopper. It doesn't mean that I don't like dressing up. Trust me, I dress up amazing.

(we just have some boots going on in there)

And of course, black is never dying.

Chris just likes to... Loves to shop. I style up good but don't like to shop.

I can go four hours at the max... Like normal people. Both of these bitches... They just never stop.

"Are you kidding me, you're a genius at math, Four. Hell you even gave me tuitions.", Chris says.

"WAIIIIIIIT... FOUUUUUUUUR, is it a girl?", Zeke tries to whisper, leaning towards Four.

My breath hitches as I splutter out my milkshake out of my mouth right over my food tray.

All heads snap towards me. I can feel his stare burning at the side of my head.

I get a few are you okays... I'll get you a few napkins and stuff.

I can't believe that incident would mean so much to him. He was really awfully quiet.

Once I settle down after cleaning up, Uri starts, "So Four here has some blue balls going on, huh?"

I can practically hear my heart hammering in my ears... Aaaaaaaaaaaaa. Omg omg calm down

"Guys fucking stop shitting around. Why would I even bother with a girl. I really am worried about the test.", he replies.

What a jerk. Something inside me deflates. A bubble, a bubble of... excitement?

Why the heck would I be excited for this shit.

" and Zeke learn how to whisper first."

"Of course, you got the party coming bruh. You'll find a lot of cures to your little... Uhmm condition down there.", Zeke replies.

"hmm right. So anyone up for paintball today. I want to burn off some steam.",Four says.

It was all a faux screen that I saw. Was he really just a man-whore. After that day outside the class, I was starting to hope that there may be an other side to him.

Maybe i was wrong. He had and will always be the same jerk.

I gulp down the lump in my throat and continue with my meal. As fast as I want this meal to end, the longer it seems. Finally i hear the bell ring. And i practically run to my class.

️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️

The day ends uneventful and I stay back for cheer team practice.

The girls decided to leave home put on some fresh clothes and meet back up at the mall.

As I was ready to leave with Chris, I forgot that I had left my books in my locker. The ones I needed today. I decided to detour on my way out while the girls continued to the parking. Amar had extended football practice so the guys were still on the field.

As I passed the closet near my locker, I heard something crash to the ground.

A splash of water. Someone banged on the closet door.

I was freaking out. Someone was being... Raped?

A weight settled in my chest as memories came flooding back, I could feel the pain... even today. As if all of that was happening to me now.

I had to save whoever was in the closet. Plucking up all my will and courage, almost on the verge of a panic attack, I moved towards the closet.

As I came to touch the knob,

"Oh yes, baby right there... Oh yeaaaaah" followed by the loudest moans I had ever heard in my life.

"fuck yeah... Fucking hell... You're sooooo good at thisssss.

Mhmmmmmmm aaaaaaaagh yeeees

I'm almost there.

Aaaaaaaag harder... Harderrrrrrrr

Aaaaaaaaagh baby you-- oh my god aaaaag mhmmmmmmm"

The panic started to deflate within me and I let out a sigh.

My eyes swelled up and my tears about to fall. I was so scared.

I could hear the door unlock. If I had the panic attack there, I could have never made it but i dragged myself towards the turning in the hallways hiding from whoever was having sex in the closet

I didn't want then to know i had heard them and worse being the situation. I never wanted them to know that I had been almost at the verge of a panic attack.

I pressed my back to the wall there beside the vending machine and tried to calm myself.

The next thing i heard was a the door unlocking and the shuffling of clothes.

The guy, whoever it was pulled up his zipper and i could hear footsteps coming towards where I was hiding.

Dang it... Please please please don't look here.

I closed my eyes shut out of fear as i could hear them coming close, the girl giggling like a maniac and telling him how fucking good he was.

I opened one eye to see that the girl was none other than Rachel... Rachel Elizabeth. She was on the team and of course a total slut. One of Nita's friends. She was hanging off the arm of a boy.

Quite familiar. I could not see them both clearly from my hiding spot. As they passed me I thought I could breathe a sigh of relief but my entire heart stopped beating as I saw the 5 letters on the jersey back.

* * *

(AN: I always think of making it a cliffhanger but i can't stop my self from writing it out... Well here you go... Dundun dun. My first cliffhanger... Whose name is 5 letters... Is someone cheating??!!! )

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	9. There's Nothing Holding Me Back

**(AN: it's a little recap right here)****Tris POV**

* * *

_Quite familiar. I could not see them both clearly from my hiding spot. As they passed me I thought I could breathe a sigh of relief but my entire heart stopped beating as I saw the 5 letters on the jersey back._

NO. 4, EATON.

I WANTED TO THROW UP. RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THEN.

And my heart was heavy. I don't even know why.

One lone tear escaped my eye, sliding across my cheeks and escaping into my top.

It is not like we actually have something between us right? He is again being the d*ck that he is. So why the fucking hell does this affect me so much. That asshole literally skipped his practice to fuck a girl in the school janitor closet!!!????

I decide for myself at the moment, right away, right now. I'm never going to bother myself, cry over a relationship ... That too practically a non existent one.

As they exit the hallway back to the field... to flaunt each other off. One new conquest.

Great way to blow off steam, fucking Eaton. I slip out of my spot, grab my books and head home in my car.

I hear my phone notify a text message

Chris: Where the hell are you Tris, we are already at the mall!!!??

Me: Chris, I'm sorry Babe, I'm not in the mood right now. I'm really tired.

Chris: Are you okay honey? Do you need something?

I really needed to talk to somebody right now because against all my will and brain... I oddly wanted Him to be here...

... with me.

My heart just wouldn't listen to my brain.

God what's wrong with me?! Am I really crushing on that asshole right now? ... Or is it just an illusion like everything else with him. Just another ugly side of my life.

I knew he wasn't worth it but I just... Couldn't convince myself.

Chris: I AM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW.

Me: Hey, I'm fine. Just sleepy. Good night enjoy your shopping. ttyl.

Love you.

Chris: Love ya . Take care honey. Bye.

I sigh sitting on my bed, take out my diary. The one that I've not opened since the past 4 years and flip through the pages.

Dried water spots tinted the pages yellowish.

My tears.

I thought I had another chance at life... with the real me... After that day in the hall... after the way he looked into my eyes. Like he could see past the bad girl facade I had on.

I felt him shiver that day as he touched my lips. Four and I have never been on good terms but he has always been the only one pushing me hard.. Testing me, trying to break me.

I never really hated him. For a second there I never really believed that he was what he posed to be.

Just like me.

I pick up my phone and hear the phone ring to my mother...

"Hello..."

"Hey mom, can you please come home earl--", I blurt out of need.

"If you're trying to reach Natalie Prior please leave a message after the beep. I'll call in later. Thank you! "

I end the call. Voicemail... as usual.

My finger hovered around my dad's face.

I call my dad... A small tiny part of my heart telling me to trust him... trust him to pick up his phone.

" Hello..." I knew what was coming so i counted in my head.

1... Breathe in

2... Breathe out

3... Breathe in

4... Breathe out

5... Breathe in

"Hello this is Andrew Prior you're trying to reach. I'm in a meeting right now. Leave a message. Thank you!"

As expected.

I saw a teardrop fall onto my phone screen. Was it mine?

Probably.

I threw my phone on the bed and flipped the pages of my diary... A picture fell out. My favourite one. I was just 2, with my mom, beautiful as ever my wonderwoman and my handsome dad, who was my hero.

... And Caleb looking smart in his hawai shirt... My best friend.

It was one time when we went on a vacation...together, as a family, with no worry of work in my parents head with no worry of school and... Stuff In my head.

They joined the government after that and that was the day when I lost my mom and dad.

I had no hero, no wonderwoman, no friend beside me... It was just me.

How ironic was it. Every night... Well some nights, they sleep in the master bedroom right across my room. But yet I feel so lonely... so far away from them. Miles apart.

I had my awesome friends at school but it's a universal truth that no one can replace parents.

We moved here as soon as I was born and I've lived here all my life. So Chicago is close to my heart.

I tried to become popular because I thought that popular kids were friends with everyone but I guess I was wrong... so wrong. I had my gang... The only ones loyal to me and me being loyal to them. Everyone else just wants to get to your money, your popularity tag and into your panties.

I thought Four was being genuine... real for once.

But people are not what they show or look like.

If one day was enough for him to breakthrough my walls. Being with him was sure like playing with fire.

I couldn't be with him because he is not any different than everybody else. He is just like the rest of them. He will pull me out of my shell ... See me naked... Vulnerable and will leave me in the end. To fend for myself.

That moment I realised, all the stupid reactions my body was making were not indications. Just... Lust.

I thought I was capable enough to wait for the one... someone who was ready to spend his rest of my life with me. But Four obviously had to get in my way. He was sexy. I couldn't blame my body.

Maybe a small part of me wished that getting this thing out of my system... maybe spending one night with him would make me forget all the roller-coaster feelings my brain was taking me through.. it was no harm right?

I just had to loose my v card now. Maybe it was destined to be him and not some mysterious 'the one' guy I had been waiting for.

So I'm ready now. Ready to face the world the way it wants me to behave. I'll be the bad girl I have always been... But notch up the intensity just a bit more. That's the new me now.

I'm not going to take shit... From anyone. Not from him... Not from anyone.

I go to my closet and rip off the sluttiest outfit I have hanging in there.

This... will be the new me.

I'll give what he wants an dill get what I want. Just to get him out of my fucking mind.

* * *

(AN: heyyy there!!! I am so happy you guys commented... Love ya! If someone had any ideas please comment!! Any Fourtris moments you want. I have the course of the story n my mind but i think i can modify it to add your fav scenes!!!)

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	10. Deception

**(AN: so guys this is currently a t rated thing but it may get a little m rated right in this chapter... I may even change the rating later on. However in this chapter i have added a warning message "️" right before the somewhat mature content so that those of you who want to skip it can do so... Love ya pancycakes! Stay happy)****(ALSO I HAVE DECIDED TO DEDICATE A SONG TO EACH CHAPTER... PLEASE CHECK OUT IF YOU'RE INTERESTED)**

* * *

**Four POV**

**_CHAPTER SONG: 'WHY' BY OUR EVERGREEN SHAWN MENDES_**

I enter the football field, ready to blow off some steam. We warm up and start with the match. Amar informs us that we will have to stay back for longer today.

As we finish up with the first game and the boys go in to take a break, I go up to Amar, asking him about the new jerseys.

He has been constantly smirking at my face all day. And I think I know the reason for that.

"Ok kiddo, go get the jerseys from the hall near the foyer room. And take your time.", he says cheekily.

"Why? ", I'm getting tired of his shit eating grin now.

_Oh shoot_.

The Cheer practice goes on in the foyer room... and Tris would be there. My eyes widen.

"Ok, I don't want to know why. I'll just get them."

And I start towards the school building before he can continue but after all he is fucking Amar.

"They may be done with their practice now. Blow off some steam in there..kiddo. Also... " he jog up to me and I start running faster trying to avoid him.

"You stop there Four or I'll yell it out",

Ughhhhhhh.

I am so going to kill Tori.

I stop and let him catch up. "There are condoms in the drawer near the shelf of the jerseys. Help yourself kiddo", he finishes with a wink.

_Disgusting_.

I glare hard... hard at him and go towards the building. As I reach the doors, I see Peter lurking around the teams practice bags.

"What the hell Hayes, what do you want?" I bark at him.

He stutters a bit but catches himself as he says, "um I was looking for a jersey my shirt is sweaty and I left mine in the shower room" he replies.

"Bro, I really need to pee and I can't get into the building half naked even though the ladies would love tha-", he says as he pulls off his shirt.

I go up to my bag and pull out my jersey, throwing it at his face. "You ask and take."

"Next time if I see you taking anything without permission, you're gone", I say pointing at him.

What a thief.

"Yeh whatever", he replies cooly.

I head towards the foyer room and enter the hall.

As I placed my hand on the door to push it open, my heart paces up a bit. I don't know why.

Its not like there was something going to happen between Tris and I, was it?

A confusing disappointment settled inside me as I found the hall empty except for Tori packing up the props carton.

"Sorry Four, you're a bit late.", she says with an apologetic look. These two fuckers were in this together.

I glare at her in response, pick up the keys off the side table and open the door to the store room.

As I enter inside, Tori comes in holding the box in hand.

"She might not be that far you know... They left just a few minutes ago. She went with Christina, Shauna and Marlene.",Tori says.

"Tori you know, we are really enemies. Didn't you see that fight out there. She doesn't like me anyway." I reply with a sigh.

As I pick up the bags off the cabinet, Tori whispers, "You've been through a lot Four. Just give yourself a chance."

"She just thinks I am a --", I sigh in defeat and continue with my work.

"You really think that I don't know anything that goes around in this school, huh?"

I look at her.

"Apparently you, Mr. Eaton have been a topic discussion among the ladies for a long time now. Anyone who wants to hook up knows where to go. I am not blaming you. It's just your way of dealing with Marcus's shit. Till the point you're not forcing anyone into anything. Till the point, it's all consensual, you'll never be wrong.

And I trust you like my son Four. You have a good soul and I know you'll never do anything wrong.

As for Tris, she... she is popular. Like you. And I'll tell today Four. She has a pure heart. I am so sure that she can understand you better than anyone else. Maybe even... me. In the end its your choice. And i know It would be the right thing. Whatever you do. I trust you." Tori finishes.

I will for the tears to stop but a tiny one slips past my eyelashes down my face.

Wordlessly, I pick up the bag and look at Tori who is leaning across the door, looking at me.

She can look past me so well. Past that facade.

I whisper as I reach the door, "I can't ruin her life with my shit Tori."

Her eyes search mine, for any point of weakness where I may break and give in. She places her hand on my cheek and pats it, "I trust you buddy". She smiles at me and I mirror it.

"Thanks Tori, I needed that."and I cross the hall back into the foyer while I hear her saying with a smile, "Anytime Four".

* * *

**Peter POV**

I walk in with Eaton's jersey on. Dang it how could I forget mine in the shower room.

As I wait outside the lockers for Rachel, I look at the names on them.

Tris Prior, she's a hot one. God her ass. I want to spank it hard.

I think I should get Drew and Albert play truth and dare this Friday in their circle. I'll tell them to set me up.

I'll finally get my hands on her.

She is mostly busy, maybe fucking different guys or whatever. I just want my share of the cake.

As Rachel comes into view I open the closet and let her in. As soon as we are inside, she pushes me against the door and kisses me hard...

She is so fucking hot...

I kiss her neck and my hands push up her skimpy top as I pick her up and put her on the table. The water bucket falls on the ground and she giggles a bit... Pulling me back on top of her.

* * *

️️**Warning! Mature content here **️️

My hand reaches her plump be and tight nipples. I lift her from the table and push her back towards the door and leave marks on her neck which eventually will form hickeys. She withers and screams for more.

I pull down her skirt which barely covers her ass and my thumb makes circles on her inner thighs. I move it above to find that... She doesn't even have panties on.

Hell yess.

I unzip my pants...

She moans loud as I fuck the shit out of her.

"Oh yes, baby right there... Oh yeaaaaah" followed by the loudest moans.

"fuck yeah... Fucking hell... You're sooooo good at thisssss.

Mhmmmmmmm aaaaaaaagh yeeees

I'm almost there.

Aaaaaaaag harder... Harderrrrrrrr

Aaaaaaaaagh baby you- oh my god aaaaag mhmmmmmmm"

️️️️**Warning! Mature content ends. **️️️️

* * *

When we are done, I pull the door open, zip up my pants and make my way with her towards the field.

This chick is crazy rich and dad specifically told me about her because her dad is on the football council.

So I thought, why not kill two birds with one stone and here am I.

**(AN: THIS IS THE NEXT ONE... GIVE YOUR IDEAS) **

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	11. Author's note (02-23 05:22:49)

**(AN: Not an update guys. Sorry**

**Just wanted to share the songs for each chapter**

**Ch 1: author's note : _All of me_ by John Legend.**

**Ch 2: It's just me: _The story of my life_ by One Directionnnnnnn... Directioners we are yaaas!**

**Ch 3: The gang: _Count on me_ by Bruni Mars**

**Ch 4: Dauntless High: _Bad Guy _by Billie Eilish**

**Ch 5: Dauntless High part 2: _Ocean Eyes _by Billie Eilish**

**Ch 6: The Coming Friday: _Leave out all the rest _****by Likin Park... Okay so the second half of the song is like the portrayal of Four's emotional state. I know many people don't like Likin park but some og their songs are so touching and amazing.**

**Ch 7: The Coming Friday part 2: _Sucker_ by Jonas Brothers... This one is for tris by four**

**Ch 8: the 7th And the 8th Wheel: _Halo Cover by Alexander Stewart... _Originallyby Beyonce but this cover is super cool and our big boy Alex is super cute. **

**Chapter 9: There's nothing holding me back : Warrior by Demi Lavato **


	12. The Concealed Truth

**(AN: ok guys so i think you need a heads up in this chapter. Some sensitive issues and reference to abuse are in here so please make sure you are okay with reading it. Or you can skip the chapter)****Recommended song: Powerless by Linkin Park**

* * *

**FOUR POV**

I reach home with my hands full of grocery bags, my bag half hanging down my arm and Marcus' wine bottle almost about to fall off the bag.

Shoot. 5:00 p.m.

I need to make Marcus some dinner before he gets home. As i reach down to keep the bags, the wine bottle --

Crash.

As the million dollar wine stains the carpet, I hurry to move out the glass pieces.

Real smooth man!!

What the fucking hell is wrong with me!!! As I stand up with the glass pieces in my hands, I hear the jiggle of keys. A chill ran through me, as if my bones were made of ice. I turn around to meet a pair of blue eyes. Like mine.

Like...

Marcus'.

Marcus' gaze tore through my heart like a knife as his mouth lifted in a small smirk. his eyes were hooded and his gaze blurry. He was drunk.

This is so not good for me.

I shook my head in submission as I heard my voice whisper, "Sir, I will get this cleaned right away. please give me a second.I just got home and I couldn't prepare dinn--".

His silence got me. Usually when he is angry, he blasts out.

But this time, ...I snap up my head. When I take a second look towards him, the reason for his silence becomes crystal clear. Hanging off his arm is a lady. ...a call girl.

i stare there dumbfound. Marcus has ripped my back off before but he has never ever in my life brought a girl home. My heart sinks...as i see them going towards his bedroom and all I can can hear is the banging of the door.

A lone tear slips out as i stand right in the middle of the Drawing room, all the groceries lying across the floor with a broken wine bottle and a huge stain in the carpet. I fall to the ground listening to the consistent thumping at the door and as I numbly cleaned up, hoping that the scene was just my imagination playing with me.

I did not have dinner, did not bother to make Marcus some. I simply couldn't work. I cried myself to sleep that evening wishing that she stays safe...with him. Even though it was her job, Marcus knew no limits.

I hear a door closing as I wake up with a start. i know its the girl...the one whom Marcus brought home last evening.

More sounds.

Someone groaning.

A female.

Stumbling.

I knew this was going to happen.

I dash out of my bed and rip the door open... as my mind and senses started taking in the picture, my heart broke again and again. As of someone was stabbing the hell out of it.

"fuck"

I realise I'm standing there looking so stupid. I rush forward to catch her in time as she stumbles again.

"you ok? "

" ughh he's a d*ck"

"can you get me some water, I need to reach home by 10".

"c'mere IL get you some bandages.", I whisper as i pick her up in my arms and push her into my room and on my unmade bed.

I fetch my first aid kit out of the bathroom cabinet and sit beside her in the bed.

She wast old, young... Instead... Around 25 maybe.

She hissed as i cleaned up a bleeding lip and sanitized the bruise on her cheek.

"is he always this rough?", her voice breaking and tears slipping out of her eyes.

"i dont know. He has never done this before... Not since... mom", my voice wavers and my eyes sting.

It was as if she could feel me. My pain. The pain i go though everyday with Marcus.

I feel her turn towards me. And she places a hand on my cheek. I could feel the warmth from her palm seep into my skin. It felt... Soothing. Like i was with my mom.

"Don't worry kiddo. He wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I'll heal in a week. Its was just a few slaps when i couldn't give him what he wanted. Nothing serious."

"I'm so sorry. You had to take it instead of me.", I whispered.

"Its ok. That's no big deal. At least I could save you from him for one night. You should report him you know."

"I can't, if I do. I'll loose everything. They will put in foster care. It just a few more months. Until the end of November. I'll be free. I'll be turning 18 and i can't take off without any foster shit following me. I have my savings and i have a plan."

She looks at me and gives me a small smile. As she grabs a bandaid to tape a cut on her face. She pushes off my bed and walks towards the door.

" You really don't deserve this kiddo.", I see her standing across the door.

" If you knew he would do that... Why did you come here?"

"I am not more different than you kiddo, just a bit older and a widow and a mother. I don't have money and i desperately needed some for my daughters treatment. She's the only thing i have left with me and I can't loose her... Or I'll loose myself. "

" Marcus is known to be... Aggressive. But i never thought he would be... Abusive", she continues as her eyes fall to the ground.

"I am so sorry. I couldn't help you", my voice whispers.

My chest burns as soundless tears leave my eyes going across my face.

It was as if mom was there last night with him. In that room.

And then again, I was helpless and broken, hopeless to save my own mother.

In this case, a woman...

just like my... mother.

My eyes lower with shame as i hear her say.

"I CAN'T tell anyone or it will be for me and my daughter. This trade is illegal... If the police find out...I'll loose my daughter forever. So don't worry we both will be ok."

A pause.

"Things and situations just need some time to correct themselves. And i want you to remember one thing kiddo.

You're a good man. Pure in heart and strong in soul. Just always remember that".

With that, she leaves the house and leaves me there sitting alone with her words hanging in the air.

* * *

**(AN: Bro, imm literally crying rn.)**


	13. Rolling in the Deep

**(AN: Hey my pansycakes. Here you go the next chapter)**

* * *

**FOUR POV**

**_Chapter song: Demons by Imagine Dragons_**

I am broken out of my thoughts as Zeke's head pops out of the door as lit as his big goofy smile. The smell of alcohol and the blast of music huts me hard and knocks me into reality.

I swear I must've tried on a fifty shirts today for the party.

Something told me I wanted to look good.

She would be here today.

Not that it matters but...

Zeke ushers me in and pushes me towards the kitchen.

He grabs beer and thrusts another in my free hand.

"You my boy, did the right thing by showing up.", he says pointing at me as he sips his beer. "I hope you decked up. Candor and Dauntless after party with the gang. And bro enjoy...", he pushes off the counter and passes me whispering in my ear,

"You know Mellisa right. That hot chick from the ski trip last year."

"Yeah what about her", I grunt out, half aware of Zeke's intentions.

"Bro she is so hot and she is here today. Also she is so into you. You gonna have a long night Four." he says.

"Shut the fuck up Zeke. She is not my type." is reply.

"Woah woah woah, chill man. There's nothing wrong in try is it?" he winks at me. "I've heard she is very flexible."

Ughhhhh... Fucking Zeke.

"Whatever.." I say turning back on the counter to pick up the bottle opener.

I flick off the top and take a sip open the other beer and head out to the main hall.

As i plop down on the couch sipping my beer, I feel my thoughts turning in my head.

The lady... The call girl who was at my home yesterday.

Marcus... How he woke up in a good mood today.

He told me that he would not come home tonight. So maybe i can crash in here at Zeke's.

My back stings as i feel a hand dragging up towards my neck on top of my shirt and i jerk back to swat the hand away.

"what the fu-"

Oh of course.

"what the fuck Nita, why are you even here."

She pouts her lips and feigns a hurt face, "Honey, you looked miserable. I thought it might be good if you have some company. Sitting like this in a corner is not healthy for you."

"leave me alone Nita. I want to be alone. Thank you so very much"

"awwww baby, c'mon don't be a bummer. Lets dance", she pushes closer to me dragging her palms to push up her skirt a bit further up.

She presses her boobs to my arms and leans in to whisper...

I put my hands on her arms and push her back gently.

"i am not so drunk that I make such a mistake. Just leave me alone. Fucking go away. You don't need to get that close to show how desperate you are nita. I have been perfectly clear 5hat I have zero interest in any relationship especially one with you. So fucking leave me alone. "

" humph, you know what. You don't even deserve someone like me.", she leaves the couch and walks of swing her ass in the process making a last futile effort to get me onto her.

" she is so over whelming isn't she?", I look up to find Al leaning across the wall with a beer in his hand. He walks up to me as he lifts his hand for a high five.

"Hey man, not in a good mood tonight? "

"Ya, just some things on my mind."

He raises his eyebrows and sighs, "So not a good time to ask for favours?"

I cock an eyebrow at him.

Oh shoot.

Fuck.

"God i am so sorry Al. Is she here?", to be honest, I wasn't in the state of mind to flirt right now but... I had given my word.

He smiled and I could see a slight blush on his face. "God, I told you you would be salivating by the time you see her."

She is right there. He points towards a girl.

"The one in the blue dress.", he says.

I peer through the crowd, ignoring Nita looking at me while she sipped her cocktail.

I could see Drew preparing a cocktail for her. As he moved around the bar, my eyes shifted towards her.

Holy shit.

Fuck.

Im done.

" She is... Um I mean bro. She is really hot but is she your... type?", I ask.

The girl had her back to me her hair fell in waves down her naked back and her backless dress fitted really well.

Fuck.

"why like isn't... Why isn't she my type." Al asks, a bit apprehensive now.

"Nuh bro, I m e an doesn't she look a bit... Umm... Under.. Dressed."

"Don't you want to just bang her right here. She has a reputation Four. Even though I wanted her all to myself but even one night would be enough.

You see.

My... Uh... eyes have already popped out."

I raise an eyebrow at him in question.

"You know what I mean... Anyways. She is a slut. She is already going fast through all the boys at school.. So now, it's my turn. Even though I am so sure you would've been the first guy to bang her but you can still have her after me."

"Bruh, what's gotten into you", I flick his bottle out of his hand and shake it, "Liquid courage? Seriously Al, you don't even need me after this."

"Why what's wrong, when the whole school has access to her favours, why not me?"

I huff out a sigh. He is being irritating.

And a wierd kinda ... Fear? Rose within me.

"Okay Al. See you don't just get to call anybody slut just like that. And what ever you do should be consensual. Or i am not going to her." i grit through my teeth.

"Woah, no need to get mad. I was just telling you that she is you know like a... Call girl. I've heard from Peter. They were talking about her the other day."

"Shut it Al. I dont even know how you trust those guys. This is the last time imm doing something for you just because u gave you my word." I say.

"I really thought you were so much better than that. I hope you don't cross any lines."

I get up from the couch and walk towards her.

* * *

**(AN : W****ill Tris get jealous?... Hmmmm) **


	14. Friday Night

**(AN: Finally the Friday we have been waiting for!!)**

* * *

**Four pov**

**_Chapter song: Never be the same by Camilla Cabello_**

Something lingered in the air as I approached her.

I felt... close? As if she was familiar from somewhere.

Zeke says that I am the flirting king of the school. Girls practically throw themselves at me.

To be honest, it is fucking irritating.

I usually an confident when I talk to girls, but this one... she was incredibly hot... especially in that dress but i felt a sudden burn within me.

The burn of nervousness. My stomach was doing somersaults and my ear tips started to heat up.

Wtf.. Stop it Four Eaton. You're being a d*ck.

Fucking get yourself in action.

So I pluck up all my confidence, super aware of girls staring at me as I passed.

As I puch through the crowd, she places her hands upon the counter where Drew was eyeing her, his eyes full of lust. As he slid the glass over the counter to her, he smirked at her.

Trying to be as smooth as possible, ready with my pickup line, I slide into one of the barstools near the girl.

I don't look at her.

You see, it's a strategy.

Let them notice you.

Every time I have ever used this trick, the girl had been beneath me on the bed.

Every fucking time.

This blue dress girl doesn't even look at me.

Neither do I, caught up in my own ego. I look ahead and ask Drew to pass me on a fresh beer.

Drew had volunteered to bartend half of the shift in return of Zeke's homework to copy.

I cleared dmy throat.

"Sanders, pass me a fresh beer would you, please?"

He popped open a beer and slid it across to me.

She shifted in her chair, "You know you don't have to be such a bitch. Its not like I'll strangle you of you talk to me."

Heat rose slowly through my body.

My ears.

My face

My cheeks.

Something dropped in my stomach.

I could recognise that voice anywhere.

Even in the height of noise.

As her voice filtered through the blasting music, I realised... Al had his eyes on...

The only girl I hadn't slept with and wanted to

... so bad.

My head snapped towards her.

Fuck.

"You're up for a dance Eaton?", she raised an eyebrow.

At my silence, she shrugged and walked across me towards the dance floor.

I dumbly gaped at her and her voice cut through my thoughts.

"Surprised? Don't worry. I surprised myself too." she says.

Fucking Eaton.

Something swirled within me as she walked away.

I sat there, numb as I saw Al waving at me asking me what happened and Chris joining Tris on the floor giving a surprise squeal.

"Isn't she hot? God I want..."

"Shut the Fuck up Drew."

"Careful, I am bartending tonight. You won't be getting anything anymore. Check your tone" he says.

"What the Fuck... Whatever."

I saw Al throwing his beer can in the thrash. He seemed... aggressive?

He eyed me and started walking... I thought towards me. But he diverted towards Tris.

What a prick.

I saw them talking and Al joining in with Tris and Chris.

Her hips swayed with the rhythm.

Right.

Left

Right.

Left.

Her long legs exposed were like a curse to a viewer. To be able to see her but not touch her.

Her long wavy hair swayed with th music, inviting in all the men in the room.

But the most beautiful thing,

Could not compete with anything.

Colours shifted and swirled in nher eyes... heavy with something. Dark and inviting. Her eyes flicked to mine. And she kept them there. Neither did I, try to move them.

She held my gaze and put her hands up in her hair.

Jumping and bobbing to the beat. But never taking her eyes off me.

It is so intense. I know she is up to something.

I felt the lingering hear as she smirked and broke the gaze turning towards Al who was trying to dance and keep up with her.

I was knocked into reality as i saw Chris smirk at Tris and Al and turn away to go to Will.

Shit.

Something burned within me. Something was killing me.

I CAN'T let fucking Al touch her.

He is fucking drunk and he called her a slu-...

Fuck.

I tried to ignore the feeling.

She is not mine and will never be mine.

I CAN'T pull her into my shit.

Even though 8 had never expected Tris to be the girl Al talked about but i had given him my word.

Maybe Al is just drunk eight now and is being too forward.

He is a good guy.

Someone worthy of Tris. Patient and caring.

I knew Al was the one not to cross lines. Lines I had drawn but just a very tiny part of me gave me the benifit of doubt.

Doubt at Al. Maybe everyone is a bit damaged. He has to have something not quiet right about him.

But at least he is fucking better than me.

He can take care of her. Give her what she wants and what she needs.

They moved together.

The rhythms and their movements matching.

Anger rose within me as Al put his hand on her hips and moved with her.

She pulled him closer and that fucking asshole had a huge smirk on his face.

Shit.

She was doing this on purpose.

I don't even know why.

She wanted it... With Al.

I had been believing, all along, maybe there were indications of me getting my shit straight and giving this a chance. This thing... Dating? Kinda.

But i was wrong. She had made a choice. And it was Al... Not me.

* * *

**(AN: Guys let me know if you have any reviews or good ideas to gibe the story some mor incidents) **


	15. Friday Night 2

**(AN :shout-out to my super cool readers! You guys are amazing) **

* * *

**TRIS POV**

**_Chapter song: Attention by Charlie Puth_**

I saw him, just like he had seen me tonight.

The same gaze and the same need.

But our ideas were different.

He wanted one night and one more girl to add to his bedroom collection and me...

I want something more.

Correction.

I wanted something more.

I had promised myself and I lived up to it.

I had to get him in bed tonight. I wanted to get him out of my fucking mind.

God.. He looks so hot today.

Shut the fuck up Prior.

I don't even know where the thought of getting him out of my mind by having sex with him came in but... I knew one thing for sure.

It was high time i get this shit out of my mind.

My plan was going smooth.

I was the slut at the party today. Everyone was staring at ME.

Including him.

Then there is Al.

He is cute, I admit. But not my type.

My type.

My type is more like lean and muscular. Exposing enough to leave the rest to imagination, cheesy, probably athletic quarterback kinda guy.

Apparently I was an enemy of the quarterback but...

Fuck it.

I don't care.

Oh right! Blue eyes are my favourite.

Stop it Tris! I could feel his gaze burn holes into my eyelids as we never broke our gaze.

Chris was somewhere there grinding on Will.

And I stiffened as I felt hands on my hips.

Oh of course, it was Al.

I smile at him as i pull him closer.

My eyes immediately migrate to... him.

He was watching.

I was on track.

In the game.

Back at you Eaton.

You want to be a playboy... be one. But this time its not only you in the game but me too.

I pull Al closer by the collar and continue bobbing up to the beat.

The heat from his eyes never leave me.

Burning holes in the side of my head.

He sighs and turns around in the bar stool.

Fuck.

I turn towards Al who is super drunk... Almost slurring.

He moves his hand down and down.

AND down. Wtf.

WHAT the actual fuck. I had just asked for a dance. I push him back gently but he grabs my ass and squeezes his hand.

Panic surges through me. My body becomes still.

"Al can we you know dance a little... I... am uh not feeling comfortable." I smile at him, trying to keep my calm.

He smiles back and a second of relief seeps in.

He leans in... I think to kiss me. As fast as my reflexes can be, I move away but Al never takes his hand off.

He whispers in my ear," Honey i am going to show you such a good time. You will be begging for me again as i fuck the shit out of you. This is just the beginning."

Oh my god. I never thought Al.

Fucking hell. My limbs fall numb and my breath becomes laboured. I put a hand on his chest to push him away but he grabs them and turns me around.

" Al what the fuck, what are you doing.. Stop that! "

" Al"

The music is loud.

He is stronger than me.

I CAN'T.

No. Not me. No please. A tear slips my eye as he pushed his hips to my ass. I can feel something digging into me and Al's voice whispers in my ear.

"see what you're doing to me. No problem. One night will be enough. Just feel it okay. It'll be fine. I'll be here. And-"

What the fuck Al.

"Stop it. What the fuck. Are you out of your mind.", I scream and push against his hand. But his grip gets stronger and harder.

He begins to move against me as it try to push off him.

"Al please stop it."

He just pushes harder one of his hands going up the gem of my dress.

I struggle against him and he just grips me harder.

I feel his hand creeping up.. Higher and suddenly...

I feel light... I am floating. In the air.

I stagger out of his grip. Stumbling forward.

I hear someone speaking. Harsh.

As my senses come back in place.

I turn.

"what the fuck Al..." I hear him say. I could recognise that anywhere for he was something that had been on my mind... Fucking with my thoughts since...

"What heck man. You don't have the guts to talk to her. That doesn't mean I can't." Al says.

"are you actually even justifying yourself. Well fuck you Al. There is a difference between talking and asking and forcing yourself upon someone. When you get that difference right. Then talk."

"oh really you... Mr i am the flirting king. Are talking about that. You know what.. Get over yourself cause you are just a little piece of shit. Good for nothing."

"Four, what is he talking about. Talking to girls. What."

No.. He can't.

"well the slut of the party"... I look at Al, "Don't act so innocent Tris. I know you two have fucked before. And there is no big announcement in that. Just get your boy toy in line. We too need what your giving and not some worthless piece of shit. And this man whore here was trying to get me score with you only to back off like a looser."

Four.

What.

Something breaks inside of me. Maybe my heart.

Fear grips my heart as i hear Al blabber on. I look at him.

My mind and soul blank. Unable to comprehend what had just happened.

I stare at Al and Four pushe shis out of my sight before turning to me.

The music stops in my ear. I can se four coming towards me...

As his hand touches my shoulder, I jerk it behind to keep my self far away as possible.

"Don't touch me.", I say through gritted teeth.

How dare he. How in the fucking world he could do that to me. Using me as a bait to keep his fucking meaningless friendship alive with Al. Not in the hell of a chance was he going to get me have sex with Al.

Something shifted within me. Fuck. I was so stupid to even think that I would loose my virginity to Four. To get him off my mind. He showed me how cheap and how ducked a person can be.

I turn around as his hand hangs in the air and walk out of the room.

I grab a beer and get outside the house.

I need to get my head cleared. I hang over the rail as i feel hot tears slide down my face and drop into the bushes beneath.

He is not worth it Tris.

He is fucking not worth my tears.

* * *

**(AN: Hey guys! what will happen now.) **


	16. Truth and Dare

**TRIS POV**

**_CHAPTER SONG :I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry_**

I feel someone slide beside me.

"heyyyyy Tris what are you doing here. Cmon" she pulls my hand and drags me inside.

"I um... I am not feeling well. I need to go home Chris."

"what what fuck...", she gets closer to my face and checks my eyes opening them as wide as possible.

"Chris!" definitely drunk off her ass.

"awww cmon honey Zeke's starting the game. He's got all unwanted people outta there even thought there are a few jerks out there i think you'll score a good one todaaaay. Looking that hot."

"Christina! You're drunk."

"Hon, I wanttt to take you home... You're looking that hot."

"now cmon you're perfectly fine".

Wtf Chris.

"Chris no". She drags me into the hall were all my friends and not so friends sat in a humungous circle.

"Here she iiiiiis" Awww come her baby. " she walks up to a grinning Will and gets on his lap grinding a bit.

" nuhun, no sex. Not now." Zeke laughs." Come here Tris." he pays beside him and next to Uriah.

Thank god!

I slide between them just to notice Peter eying me up and down right in front of me.

Al beside him, giving me a death glare and last

Four.

3 people away from me. Nita sticking her butt into his place.

As I see Peter's eyes shifting to my exposed legs and then my chest,

I become... Aware.

Fucking pig.

It felt like dirt on me... His eyes. Raking my body.

"Zeke could you please pass me a blanket. I am cold."

"Hon, just have a shot. You'll warm up." he says.

"Nope Zeke it's for the gaaaame." Shauna says.

She picks up the blanket and passes it to me.

"thanks Shauna" I smile at her.

"okay so the rules..." Zeke starts.

I feel heat. Heat at the side of my head.

My arms.

"This is strip version guys so girls I am so sorry if you showed up only in your dress with no jacket..."

"that's no problem.", Nita's voice cuts in.

I feel heat. But.

I shiver.

Beneath the blanket.

I see Peter, giving me that look again.

Al, staring at me... Shamelessly.

But the heat..

Its not from both of them. It's someone else. Someone I have been having on my mind lately...

A lot.

Him.

I never look at him. Afraid that I'll see the truth in his eyes. Afraid that he was really the one trying to set up Al with me.

I don't want to believe it. Even after what Al told me.

I know, there has always been a small part of me, trying to trust him. Even when he flirted in class, on field. Even when he asked me for my number in a dare.

My mind gives me a big no no. But...

my heart, I think it must be in the right place to trust him.

"so I start with Uriah, my brother" Zeke screams. "okay t or d my bro"

"imm not a pancycake!" Uri screams back.

"okay so I dare you to run naked through our street! Cmon"

I hear a lot of oohs and aaaaahs from the circle. Its many more people than my usual circle.

"Okay. That's an easy one." Uri starts to pull his pants off.

Eww not here Uri. Too late.

Marlene starts to giggle. "wow, it's going to be a sight!"

Marlene, Zeke and Peter volunteer to go.

I feel the constant heat. Piercing through my forehead... I can't take it anymore.

I whip my head towards him, he looks away.

I see four staring the other side. Was I imagining it?

As Zeke and Uri return and sere down back into the circle the game continues. A couple of truths and dares are thrown around.

" Zeke!!!! Its payback time. 7 minutes in heaven with... Al." Uri says.

"what the fuck Uri, I have a girlfriend!" he yells back.

"okay be a pancycake then..." Uri continues.

"an involuntary giggle escapes me and all heads snap towards me.

Nice job Tris!

"Sorry"

"Okay, I'll do it but you are paying back."zeke warns as Al gets up his seat.

As he passes me, his hands brush my shoulder, leaving behind a trail of shivers. Fear.

Is Four like that, needy and cheap as Al.

I am broken out of my thoughts as someone calls my name.

Drew.

The same one who was looking at my ass the whole night.

"Okay Tris, now I want you to play 7 minutes in heaven with..."

Shit.

He looks at the circle. I see Four giving him death glare. And I dont even know why does he care.

"Peter." I see Peter smirk. And a glint in his eyes. What the fuck.

"C mon hon. Lets have a good time.", Peter stands up and moves towards Zeke's bedroom.

No.

"Don't be so presumptuous Peter. I'm not interested.", I say, giving him my own smile.

I know he is a prick.

"What the fuck Tris. You want to get your clothes off and embarrass yourself in front of so many people instead of just 7 minutes with me?"

"You're a pig. Are you challenging me?" I say back.

I can feel Four looking at me. The heat again.

Its distracting.

Why the fuck is he so intense.

God I just want to...

"Cut it out guys." Will says.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Will, he is wrong.", I say pointing at Peter.

"Well, I just feel Tris is basically scared. No problem honey. It happens. Especially when you have not had sex in so long.", Rachel butts in practically clinging on her boyfriend, Ryan.

Bitch.

"Thats enough guys, continue the game. Tris honey, I am so sorry. It is the rule.", Zeke says.

When did he become so wise.

I sigh and get my blanket up to my neck.

I put my hand in my dress and pull out my panties.

I throw it in the center of the circle and notice Peter and Al staring at me. The heat never leaving me in the midst of all the oohs and aahs.

"whohooo Tris is getting in the mood huh", Peter says.

"Well go to hell because I would trade my life in return but never going to be with you." I retort back.

"huh, let's see..."he says.

" would you two stop it. Fuck off Peter. "I hear his voice." Tris your chance. "

"Nita, would you please give Four here a lap dance."

I give her a sarcastic smile, very well aware of the fact that Four hates her.

He looks at me with pure shock.

" Come here Four."she gets on his lap before he can protest.

I know she would be the happiest one to do that. As Nita, bounces upon Four, she starts grinding upon him.

She pulls his face off me and his eyes turn to hers.

She smiles.

Do they really have a chemistry.?

What if Four really likes her. And he is just denying it? I feel guilty. Not for him. But for me.

Shit

Why was I feeling jealous.

Was it even jealousy??

I avert my eyes as the guys cheer on. I look down at my lap unable to see him anymore. Why do i trust him. After so much. What is happening to me. Why do I hate what I have done.

Yet again I feel the heat, scorching the side of my skull. He is looking... at me. Not her.

As she finishes, Nita sits back with a smug smile. Eyeing me up and down.

" Okay guys, now I want to dare Four. Honey, what is your real name?" she asks purring into Four's ears, "Come on", a hand on his chest. "You can tell me."

Only then do I take a proper look at everyone. Each and every eye is on him. FOUR EATON.

Nita smiles at him but he... He looks... frozen?

As if she had asked a part of him. Something that was not meant to be known by everybody in his life. Only the ones that he trusts with his life. As if she had asked for his whole identity.

He shrugs, "Sorry guys I can't. Not happening." He takes off his pants and sits back. I hear people whispering, probably about him. But his eyes flit to mine, trying to say something unsaid. As of he wants to tell me a part of him, a part of his story.

They say, what's in a name. But today, I could read him, read him so well that each part of me screamed for Nita to stop. Because he, for him it seemed as if his name would reveal so much more about him.

I shift under his gaze as neither of us break it.

He finally cuts off, "Mar".

"Truth" she says.

"pancy-"

"Uri don't you dare" she warns him getting a few people on to laugh out.

" Woah ok" he puts his hand up.

"Okay so Mar what was the weirdest place you have had sex ever?" Four asks.

"Nice one Four", Shauna comments.

"ummmmm" Marlene starts blushing as red as a tomato.

"Come on Mar, it's just us", Rachel butts in in her extremely squeaky voice.

"amobietheratre", now Uriah starts blushing.

"what that wasn't clear!" Four.

"umm..I said a movie theatre!", she calls out loud, "now next".

But by the time she calls out the next persons name, all are already rolling on the floor laughing hard.

"Bro, you got this... Hahaha... Oh my god... You got this right" Zeke says in between his laughs calling out to Uri.

"Okay now ENOUGH" Uri says.

Marlene trues to change the subject, "Christina, t or d"

When she calms down she manages to blurt out a "D".

Mar continues, "Okay so Chris, kiss the person of your choice other than Will for 30 seconds. It should not be Uriah!"

"Ewwwww mar" I say.

"woah it's beter to kiss a girl than a boy and since technically, Mar did not mention the word 'boy'", she says quoting in the air, "I choose..."

Uh oh.

"Tris!!!"

No Chris. Please.

Even though I dont mind but...

"Chris no!", I can't.

"Come on Tris don't be a pussy. You have to do it." Al says.

"Shut up Al, no one asked for your opinion." I retort back.

Even though I know Al is right, I hated the fact that he was even here.

"Mar reduce the time. Please", I beg.

She sighs, "Okay even tho imm all for you two, Chris has Will. So 15 seconds. No wait... 20.", she says.

"That's perfect... Now come on Tris. Come here.", Chris says.

"God its going to be hot, come here Mar.", Uri pulls Mar on top of him.

Chris comes up to me. "You ready?"

I shift my gaze to Four who is sitting a bit more straight now. He looks... excited.

Before I can answer Chris pulls my face to hers and kisses me right on the lip pushing her tongue into my mouth.

She climbs on me as my blanket falls down. My arms exposed to the direct chill and my dress riding up. She puts her legs on either sides of my hips sitting on my lap.

Isn't the 15 seconds over?

She puts her hand into my hair and pulls me in deeper. My lips hurt by the force. She tilts her head for better access and moans into my mouth.

Eventually, I feel her bottom grinding against my center. She massages my tongue and my hands involuntarily go into her hair.

"woah woah, that's enough guys." Zeke yells.

I break apart with a jerk as Chris continues to giggle uncontrollably.

What the guck am I doing?!!

I look around the room and everyone has their eyes in us... turned on as fuck.

"okay now...", Chris says. "Mar,..."

"wait she just got her chance" Rachel says.

"Trust me guys its a really good one" Chris continues.

" Tell us about the movie theatre incident." Chris says getting a few wohoos.

"wait I didn't even choose, give me a dare!", Mar says.

"okay so I dare you to tell me about the movie incident" Chris says smugly.

Mar blushes hard, "its not fair. Okay so anyways, so we were in this theatre and this really graphic scene came on. I was... Okay with it. Going along."

"Which movie!?" Shauna asks.

"I am not telling that. It was p*rn and i caught Uri who was beside me so looking at him just made the things... uncomfortable?"

"so i... Umm.."

"go on Mar" I say.

"um i... Couldn't help myself and I climbed on him and ummm well this just carried on from there."

"whyy do i feel it was the starting of the movie and you guys dis nor even finish it?" Zeke said.

"what the fuck Zeke?" Uri says.

"because we were there too. Weren't we babe?", he asks Shauna.

Its time for her to blush.

Ewwwww.

"OKAY I AM NOT TELLING ANYTHING ANYMORE." Mar screams.

"Next, Uri let me make you a smoothie of my choice." she says before he can protest.

"Nooooooookkooo".

Uriah reluctantly waits as mar brings in a gross looking smoothie.

Ewwwww.

* * *

**(AN : Hey guys so here is a long chapter since I did not update yesterday) more Fourtris action is going to come.**


	17. Truth And Dare 2

**(AN: Hey people! How are you doing, this chapter contains a lot of Fourtris stay tuned!! Also guys i love you for all the support. Its so good to see you all be there with me all throughout the journey)**

* * *

**FOUR POV**

**_Chapter song : A thousand years by Christina Perri_**

As Uriah gulps down the smoothie, my mind gravitates to Four.

Al throws in a dare to Zeke, and Zeke sits a few minutes later in makeup... Done by Christina.

People are pretty drunk now. Zeke is down 4 beers and everybody else is down 3 beers. Except me.

And Four.

I did not have the mind to do it and neither did Four apparently.

Rachel has passed out on her boyfriend and Nita is horribly drunk.

Zeke brings in a bottle of vodka. Now I know that the game is going to end when all of them pass out. I pull up the blanket, shivering a bit. I look around,

Chris with Will.

Zeke with Shauna.

Uriah with Marlene.

Rachel with Ryan.

Even though Peter and Al are sitting with their beer almost naked.

He... Four, he was with her,... Nita.

She snuggled closer to him as he leaned forward his elbows on his thigh. Looking ahead and sitting a bit stiff.

But he never told Nita to fuck off.

I felt... lonely.

As if I was the only one denying my chances.

I had plenty of them. Plenty of boys and plenty of opportunities. They say teenage is the age of insecurities but I was just scared... to commit. And I was afraid of getting my heart broken.

Yet again, here I was denying myself of my chances with Four and at the same time feeling lonely.

I have this sudden feeling that the eye contact.. all throughout the game, was something. It meant something. At least I think of it as that.

I sometimes want to give up on my own choices and choose... him.

But I know I can't, because I am terrified that I'll mess up things. I may seem confident. I am. But I am not. When it comes to things like... that night. Those nights. To give myself completely to someone. To feel naked and vulnerable. Not only physically but also... emotionally. I never dared to think about it. Maybe that is the reason I am afraid of commitment. Promising a part of me to someone else.

I see Chris and Will. You see they are like the perfect couple. Always on to each others throats and at the same time so deep in love. Maybe love does that to you. Helps you face yourself. Accept yourself and stop pushing yourself away from you.

Oh right i know it doesn't make sense but these were just the passing thoughts, the main content sifting through my mind with the background murmur of the game. God knows what was happening.

At this moment I feel as though i was wrong all along for not giving myself the chance that i should've. I just can't sit around and wait for Mr. Perfect, right? How would I know I like it or not if i dont dip my feet into the water.

I look at them, all of my friends and... not so friends and I know. I know I want love. I want to be capable of loving someone but firstly, loving myself. I am going to face myself. I am not going to deny myself of chances.

I know it will be hard for me to try to date. I haven't done that before. I have just made a reputation. Well fuck that. I dont want it. I want to try. Go back into my past and correct my present.

I'll give myself a chance. I am not that girl who will wait for the guy to make a move anymore. I am not going to deny what i deserves to know.

You know, there is this curious part of me. That wants to explore, explore all the boundaries that my friends have already explored. I feel empty. And I have to fill that void. With care and friendship.

I sigh into space as Zeke's voice cuts in, "Okay guys, I am so fucking tired. I think let's make this the last round. It's late." he says putting his hand around Shauna and smiles at her.

"Okaaaaay I want to go.", Chris slurs.

Bro she is so fucking drunk.

"Trisssy.."

"Chris don't call me that", I say back.

"okay kiss 3 guys to your right." Chris says.

"I didn't even pick." is say with a smile.

"Doesn't matter!"

"oh my god. Okay" I smile.

Its too late to realise. That the three guys to my right are Uriah, Al and... Four.

Holy shit.

I get up with a sigh and peck Uri's lips.

"nuhuh longer" Chris stops me.

"okay wait you can add up time... 15 seconds per person. So you kissed Uri for like two seconds and up the rest of the 13 seconds to you left over kisses. That means... Umm 43 seconds of kissing left." she says.

Now next.

"You're pretty good at math even when you are drunk, girl" Mar comments.

"Oh thaaaaaaaaank youuuuuuuu" she says and goes back to eating up Will's face.

"Tris you're up."Al smirks.

Ewwww no.

I look at Uriah. He shrugs.

I lean down and kiss Uriah again. For a few more seconds... 5 maybe? Ughhhhh.

I would rather kiss Uriah for the whole time and not kiss the other two but he has a girlfriend...

Wait.

Actually. I don't mind kissing...Four.

I walk up to Al and press my lips to his. He forces his ahead. His breath reeking of alcohol. I feel dizzy as he puts his hand on my waist and...

I am numb. Frozen.

Memories flood my mind. Hands on the hip going downward. Pulling up my frock and pressing into my thighs. Pain shoots through wrenching my gut. Hands squeeze my thighs.

I am snapped out of my thoughts as Al pushes his tongue into my mouth.

I pull back, jerking him away from me.

"No more" I whisper as I glare at him. It would be better for him to back off.

"that would be another 8 seconds" Zeke says a timer in his hand.

Are you fucking kidding me!! All those thoughts just 8 seconds. Al tries to pull me in but i pull away from him completely.

"Zeke seriously there's no need for timer. Are you kidding me this is just a stupid dare game." I say.

I don't want to do this any-

Oh right.

Four.

An involuntary smile makes its way to my lips. Its not noticable but why am I happy.

I take a deep breath.

" Sorry hon, you have to complete it... Four you're up... 30 seconds on the click Tris.", Shauna says.

It wouldn't be that bad right.

I have never kissed him. And i never thought I would but here right at this moment, I had promised myself. To not pull back and close down.

I have to give myself a chance.

I look at him and the only thing that comes to my mind is what he had done today.

Stop it Tris.

"You know we don't have to do this. It's okay", he says, his voice low. I look into his eyes and i migrate back to the corridor. Outside Tori's class. When we were so... close.

I see somewhat... something different in his eyes. Is he hurt.

"No it's a game and I don't want to back off", I say shaking my head.

"Hurry up pancycakes! I want to go sleep" Uri screams. As he picks up a tequila bottle.

Half of them have passed out and Chris is almost asleep.

I move towards him. And I stand in front of him. Four Eaton. My mind wanders to all small details. A small scar on his chin, a sculpted nose and beautiful blue eyes. My favourite colour with a streak of light blue in one eye. His eyes become dark as he stares at me. And his Adams Apple bobs up and down as he swallows giving away my eyes access to his sculpted shoulders. Perfection carved into a living human being. Is he nervous? Why should he be nervous when he is kissing... me. I should be the nervous one.

He speaks slowly and soft. Soft enough for only us to hear. Only both of us. It feels like it... Like it was only us in the room. "I'm sorry Tris. I really didn't-"

Oh god. No. I dont care about it now.

"-Al he just was so into you and I never knew it was... you and I-"

"It's okay. I dont care about it anymore. I am sorry I just burst out on yo-" I say.

"C'mon what are you whispering... kiss fast", Zeke says.

"Ugghh why do all our conversations end up with a sorry in between" he murmurs looking sideways, his voice gritty and rough, cracking a it as he speaks. He laughs a little.

And I can't help but smile at his cuteness. He looks back at me smirking a bit, extending his hand towards me, "M'lady, please. We have got a dare to complete" he says.

I giggle a bit looking at his hand and place mine in his, he pulls me in. Our wide smiles collapse immediately as we share the same breath. He sighs hard. As if it is too difficult for him to accept this. Well it is difficult for me too. He lowers his mouth to mine and my eyelids close a bit. Half open. My lips part a bit.

And we are breathing the same air. I feel him brush my lips with his. A slight tingling feeling spreading warmth through my veins. Heat seeps in through my lips and my cheeks grow warm. He pulls back a little, breathing hard, he leans in and I tily my head up to give him some better access. Our lips meet halfway.

The are soft and warm, making me hot and warm. Tingling my lips. Heat seeping through my blood, warming me up. He moves his lips against mine and I lean up a bit more.

Maybe we both wanted this.

I feel warmth in the pit of my stomach, butterflies making me giddy. I smile into the kiss and I feel his tongue going across my lips... asking for permission. Like a gentleman.

I open up my lips completely granting him entrance and my hand involuntarily reach up behind his neck. His hands on my hips going up and down. Not further, just warming me up enough to keep me tethered to the ground. My hands snake into his hair. So soft and so...

I could run my hands through them all day long. His hand leaves my hips, one on spot, the other raised up through my shoulder to my hair. Caressing me slowly. He never crosses the line. Like everybody does. He is chivalrous.

As his tongue massages mine, we both fight for dominance. Memories of me, freezing up tonight surface but... they melt away just like they came. Into nothingness.

All my feat and insecurities seem illogical right now. As if they were never meant to be. We pull back for breath for a second and meet again in the middle, the battle for dominance going hard.

"Times uppppppp" I hear a voice yell. In my state, I can't even recognise it.

We pull apart, just enough to breathe the same air, I am on my tip toes he is leaning down a bit. Breathing hard.

"Are you sure that it was dare?" I whisper, our lips touching as I speak.

He sighs in response. And looks into my eyes.

"Okay that was fine. Game over. Those who want to drink stay back the rest of you get out" Uri says. We break apart and I go back to where I was sitting grabbing a bottle of tequila.

Four grabs another bottle and sits across me... far on the other side of the circle.

* * *

️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️**(AN:I cried a bit writing this chapter. People are sometimes so alone, they are unable to find themselves in the midst of this stormy life. You end up pretending all the time not giving themselves a chance to know oneself. I think that Tris and Four, even if they don't connect physically have that bonding of being there for each other. Supporting each other by your actions and prayers for the partner. I love their chemistry)**


	18. Across The River

**(AN : Please stay careful. This chapter has mature content. Smut. However in this chapter i have added a warning message "️️️️️️" right before the somewhat mature content so that those of you who want to skip it can do so... Please only appropriate audience must read it... Love ya pancycakes! Stay happy)**

* * *

**TRIS POV**

**_Chapter song :Can't help falling in love, Crazy Rich Asians_**

Chris and Will stumble towards the bedroom kissing madly. Peter and Al have passed out and Marlene and Uriah have put on some music.

Old school music. Soft and romantic. You know Elvis Presley kinda. "You want to get out of here?" Zeke asks Shauna.

She giggles a bit and they both stumble across to the other bedroom. I pull the blanket over me again. And I look at him. Mar has passed out and Uriah is screaming out the lyrics to the song.

I can only hear him... While looking at Four with the same intensity that burns holes into my being.

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely-

He laughs out loud... God he so damn drunk.

Take my haaand, take my whole life toooo.

For I can't help faaa-

And closes his eyes sleeps off.

Oh.

I feel the heat again and this time i dont ignore it. I look at him. Even from across the room I can read him so well. He smiles. So pure and sincere. I smile back. He places his beer at his side and stands up. Walks up to me. At deadening slow pace, all the while looking into my eyes. He takes the bottle from my hand and places it on the side table. Extends his hand again and I comply. Nothing said nothing done more than what is indicated. He pulls me up close to him. With a jerk. My breath hitches. He leaves me breathless.

"What are you doing Four?" I whisper... so close to him.

"Shhhhhh. Just listen to this." he says. He takes a hand to my cheek the other laced with my other hand pulls me towards him.

I place my head on his chest. Right over his heart. It booms through me. Sending shivers down my spine. So intense. So pure. So serene. It was the rhythm that made me close my eyes. Breathe his scent in.

He smelled distinct. Like musk and something purely... Four.

"How is it?" he asks. Quietly.

"The heartbeat?" I reply. Neither of us speaking too loud as if we were to wake up everyone.

"Everything." he says with a sigh.

"Everything?"

"hmhm"

"It feels... It is so... fast." I say. "Why is it so fast? Yet in rhythm." my own heartbeat can be heard, loud and clear. Blinding my senses a notch bit.

"Maybe you know the reason" he says.

Yes. But how is it possible. He is perfect! And I am not. I am broken and can't face myself.

How can he possibly..

"No I don't" I say.

He sighs.

"I know that you are aware. Just accept it." he says.

I lift my head.

"Four please."

"God you're so beautiful and you don't even know it."he says.

" Come on." he takes my hand and pulls me to the open space. Looks into my eyes. His hands on my waist. Not lowering. Just perfect. He sways to the music. Slow and steady. Never leaving me alone. Looking into my eyes as if I were the only thing in the room.

As if he had found... Gold?.

My eyes sting from the intensity. My hands on his sides drag themselves to his chest. I stop for a minute and push them upward. Going across his shoulders into his hair.

"You know, I like it when you put them in my hair" he smiles.

I look down, smilingly to myself. I can't help but bite my lip to stop the smile that gives away all my feelings just like that.

I play with the nape of his hair.

"God with the lip now... Ugg" he says raising his eyebrows in distress looking sideways.

" Four are you drunk... Since when have you become so bold" I laugh.

"No I just had like 2 beers today. I have always been bold baby, you just got the message today." he says smirking.

"I dont want that cocky Four again. This one is cute" I say... Uh oh.

What the hell Tris.

"whaaat did you just say? I couldn't hear you." he says bringing his ear a bit more closer.

I lean up and kiss his cheek. Just friendly kiss. I linger for a second and whisper into his ear.

"shut up" I come back to my spot ob his chest, giggling to myself.

"Youre a jerk!"

"and you like it!" he says.

"God we are so annoying together."

"Yeah. I know right." his voice is hoarse.

We sway for a few more minutes in silence. Just enjoying each other. Nothing to stop us. Nothing to interrupt.

Thoughts cross my head. My heartbeat in my ear. Going miles fast. Butterflies in my stomach. And... him.

I listen to his heartbeat, going as fast as mine. What could be the reason?

I can maybe justify mine. Some kind of bubbles break inside me. Not from or negativity but this time... it is hope. Hope that I can be happy. With someone. Find someone who can handle my shit and help me accept myself. Maybe I am in the right place. Who would have thought that bitter enemies would become... this. I am here now, dancing to one of my favourite songs. With someone who is supposed to be my enemy. Someone insensitive, cocky and rude. But today... It is not that guy. It is not Four. Its someone deeper, sensitive and... Someone perfect. At this moment I want to keep the hope. Break down my walls make myself vulnerable to someone... to him. Forever. Purely. Truly. With at most sincerity.

I pull away from him. And look into his eyes.

They are so beautiful. Calming me to the core.

I don't even know what I was thinking. I leaned up on my tip toes, pulled him down by his neck to me and kissed him. Right on the lips. Just a few seconds. As I realise, I register the shock evident on his face. His eyes wide looking at me like... I sink within.

Fuck me. What the fuck was I thinking!!

Damn it Tris.

We look at each other. As I open my mouth to blurt out a sorry. I feel my eyes close. Lips on mine. Soft. Just like a few minutes ago. This time his hands are on my face either of my cheek and holding my face in place.

We pull back for some breath and lean in again.

This is not the soft, tender kiss. This is somewhat... rough. Passionate. Fast. And... sexy.

Ugggh. Why does he have to be like this.

My hands mess up his hair... Faster than before. I tug at his hair to pull him away a bit and get back on again.

My hands slide down from his hair towards his back. Over his brad shoulders and along his sides to his lower back. That is when I feel him hiss and pull my hands away.

"Tris not the back" he says hurriedly.

"What's wro-" I start but am interrupted by his kiss again. He kissed me hard pushing my body back supporting me by my lower back. I push my tongue in and explore his mouth.

Oh so delicious.

He fights for dominance but I want control. My hands go down his chest. Passing every muscle every dip and raise, down to the jem of his shirt. I put my hand into his shirt pushing it upwards, feeling his bare skin on my hands. My skin burns. In a good way.

He pushes me back a bit we walk together towards the couch. His hands all over my back, the other one going to my ass. I should freeze at this point. Memories should flood and ruin the moment. But it doesn't. I let him go further. His hands reach inside my dress from my open back and carcass the sides of my stomach. I feel him caressing the side of my breast. Lightly. Slowly. His kisses go sideways. Towards the end of my lips. The corner of my mouth. To my jaw and my neck.

I close my eyes in pleasure enjoying the feeling of his lips on my skin, leaving me hot and heavy. I can't stop the moan when he gets to my ears. His lips behind my ear, sicking the skin there.

"Four"

He moans in response.

"Four"

He pulls back and looks at me. "What happened? Are you okay?", he asks breathless.

"Not here."

"What not here?", his eyebrows furrow.

"Upstairs" I say not able to stay idle without his mouth on me.

His eyes widen in realisation. "Fuck, Tris are you sure?" he asks.

I look into his eyes again and... "Yes" I whisper, taking his face in my hands.

"Please"

He looks at me, tryi g to find something wrong. Something... Different. He utters a soft okay and kisses me again. Slow and calming. Hot. He keeps his mouth on mine and we fall back. On the couch, him beneath me.

He holds my thighs. Squeezing them in process carrying me with him. My legs wrap around his waist and he holds me up by my butt. He walks towards the stairs and up.

This is it.

He sets me down never leaving the kiss, pulling apart ur looking into my eyes always. Then kissing me again.

My back hits the door and a wierd feeling sets in. I know this is danger. I hated this guy until yesterday. Its not like I had forgotten the promise I made to myself completely but this was not just me 'getting him off my mind'. This is something more. And I am terrified.

I push down the knob and we both stumble into the room. I am scared. I pull him by his shirt and push him back to the door kissing his jaw. My hands go to the hem of his shirt but he pushes them away. Again. I pull back breathless and look into his eyes.

"Is it too much?" I ask. Its wierd, he does that with all the girls?

"No not at all. I just..."he looks sideways, as if avoiding me," Come here" he says taking me by hand towards the bed. I look around and realise that we are in Zeke's room. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me towards him. Between his legs. "Tris listen, the shirt is of limits."he says.

" What I didn't get it."

" See I can't take off my shirt okay. Its a condition I want my way. " he says.

What the fuck." ummm okay.", Is he just using me??

No.

"Is it... ME?", I ask, a lingering fear in me. Fear of an affirmative answer.

"God no, are you crazy. I... Um. I-"

"it's okay for u you can tell me the truth" I whisper.

" God Tris it is fucking not you. You're fucking gorgeous. You want to know the truth right. I am like this with every other girl. And you... Ugggg you don't even know what you do to me. Fuck me. God... Today. I was really pissed off when I came in. Al started pestering me but when I saw you... " his voice becomes hoarse, very hoarse.

" was it fucking necessary for you to dance with Al like That and that too in this Dre... Uhhhh" he rolls his head into my stomach.

"Did that bother you?" I ask in a whisper. My hands in his hair.

"what the fuck of course it did!" his voice muffled.

I smile to myself. I think it means he... cares. I pull off his head and hold it in between my hands. I whisper close into his ear,

"Back."

He looks at me never taking his eyes off, pushes himself back as I climb on the the bed. My legs on either side of him. He never looks down. Only into my eyes, as if he were reading my soul.

* * *

️️️️️️️️️️️

️️️**_Warning! Mature content ahead .️️️️_**

️

He kisses me and moves downwards to my throat and my neck his hands massaging my boob. My hands go to and fro over his stomach. He slips off my dress from one of my shoulder and his hand goes down towards my core.

I kiss him again and he grabs me by my hips, shifts positions. Me beneath him.

An involuntary moan leaves my mouth as he moves downwards right in the middle of my chest, over my heart, Licking and sicking the places hard. I pull his face up and kiss his neck, making sure it will leave a mark. A moan leaves his mouth. Leaving me wet and soaking.

Shit. This man is...

He slips off his belt and my hands go to his jeans buttons. His hand works on the other part fo the dress bringing down the straps completely leaving one of my bra straps down.

"Why are these straps s ok transparent, it's fucking hard to focus on them."he speaks in a hoarse voice.

" shut up" I giggle a bit.

He smiles. And goes back to giving attention to my right boob kissing the exposed skin along the edges of the bra and moving inwards kneading them with his hand.

Oh my god. "Four fast"

His hand snakes down my had s working on his zipper. He pulls down his pant with a little help from me. And we settle down again.

I can feel him pushing into my thighs... Its so... Hard. I push myself up and take of my dress. He throws it somewhere.

"god, when did you put back your panties on?"

"some time ago" I giggle and pull him back to me.

What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Why am I giggling.

He smiles into the kiss and what was so fast paced, now. slows down.

As he traces his hands around my chest, he pushes off the bra, a hand behind me, unclipping the hook. Oh my god.

Its not rough, like it has always been with other guys. By this time, either they pass out or the fear comes back. But this... This feels different... This feels... I don't know. At least the fear doesn't get me bad... Yet.

"Is this alright.",I can hear his muffled voice as he buries his head into me.

Oh fuck. Yes. Yes yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I manage to gasp out a yes as I feel wet tongue circle my nipples.

"fuck Four. Don't stop" I say.

I am already at the edge of breaking into my orgasm but... he pulls away. He comes back to my face and kisses my jawline. Slowly.

"Why did you fucking stop."

He just looks at me. Breathing hard. His hands cup my cheek. Supporting himself on one arm.

"Are you sure?"it's not more than a whisper. Why does he have to be like that.

A small speck of doubt rises in me. I know this is something that shouldn't be given away like that but right now, I feel... loved. Like someone cares. The way he looks at me. Maybe we have a chance. Maybe this is a mistake. Memories flood in. I shake... Visibility. I close my eyes to push them off but... They come back.

"Tris" I hear a faint voice.

Maybe i am going to pass out.

This is the farthest i have every gone with any guy. All of them were just... temporary. Something tells me that this... This. I don't want it to be temporary.

No.

I had promised myself. "go ahead."

"Tris this is not working" I hear him say and push off a bit. Away from me.

I CAN'T back down now. I think this is the right decision.

I see him sitting on the edge of the bed again. Facing away from me. I look at him from my spot.

I have to make this work.

I get up and hug him from behind.

"its okay Four. I want this. This is my decision" i say.

"I am not going to do anything unless you want me to. I can't. And I don't want to." i can feel him... Thinking. I feel something is common between us.

Memories.

Something same.

I push my core to his butt.

"Fuck me".

He closes his eyes. And turns sideways.

He looks at me and we get back into position slowly. Like a snail. Holding each other's eyes. He cups my cheek and whispers, "I hope we are not making a mistake"

"Not at all."my hands snake behind his neck. My hands running through his hair.

Just like that we undress each other completely. Leaving us at the mercy of the other. He never leaves my eyes. As if I would vanish the moment he does.

AND neither do I.

I feel stripped to the core. My whole being exposed. Bubbles of fear rise. Scared of my own self. My own memories. But i push them back.

His eyes never wander to places. Only my eyes. I can see questions and doubts swirling in his eyes. The dark blue colliding with my stormy grey ones. His eyes are so pure. Giving me warmth. Making me moan.

He kisses me gently. Ever so sweetly and i feel him near me. His tip brushing the folds. Gentle and soft. Sending shivers through me. A tingling feeling over my folds. So beautifully beautiful feeling. Incredible warmth rises through me but neither of us leave the eye contact. He moves a little.

"God Tris"

We pull of a condom from the bedside. And it is between our teeth. He pulls on one end of the foil and i pull on the other. Never leaving the eyes. Spreading warmth through me. I think I'll come just by that stare. When we get the rubber out. Only then do I look down.

Holy fucking hell.

Fuck. How is that supposed to fit. I have heard Chris say. It was painful. Her first time with will. I acted along. Little did she know that I had never.

Fuck the reputation. I think I want more.

"Let me." I whisper as he fumbles with one hand.

"Fuck Tris, that stare is already doing it for me." his voice hoarse still his eyes on mine.

"okay go on" I say.

I again feel him. With the rubber now. Again that feeling. I push away the fear. He enters me. Slow. Soft. Like... people make love and don't... Fuck.

I feel something enter me but by bit. A few centimeters deeper as he sinks down, my high rises. To its peak. A searing pain shoots through my abdomen as he ventures futher. But i dont close my eyes. I tighten my hold on his neck. And his eyes become even more hooded if possible.

My hands pull at his hair scratch through them to dilute the pain.

What a wierd feeling. Both pleasure and pain. Like you are loving me and stabbing me at the same time. As he buries himself completely. I loose it.

"Fuck me. Why are you so fucking tight" he says.

Oh my god.

I tighten around him. Loose myself into him.

"Sorry. Keep on going."

"No I mean you feel so good." he stares into my eyes.

He pushes out and puts it back in. Gently. The pain is less. But i am being pushed hard towards the edge.

He moves within me in rhythm.like sea waves meets the beach. My eyes roll back but i stop myself as we hold the stare. No blinking no talking. Only moans and an endless stare. He gets em to the edge.

"Honey I am going to- uhhhh" I can't finish my sentence as I come all over. But it doesn't stop their the pleasure. He is buried inside of me. Moving again. "come on Tris. Babe you can pull this off again. Come on hon." he says. As of on cue. My orgasm starts to build up. Again

"oh fuck. Oh my god."

Holy shit. He is too good to be true.

He pushes in gentle as even. "he stills midway." please keep going" I beg him with my eyes. But as i open my mouth to speak. I hear him.

"Tell me what you want Tris. I want to give you the best night tonight. I want you forget all those guys you've ever... fucked and only remember... me" he says never leaving my eyes.

We Never look away. Only blue into grey and grey into blue.

"I think I already have.", I say.

"" Go fucking fast. As fast as you can. Please.. " I say.

I get ready. It is going to be painful but I want this. And i want him." Go"

He whispers a small okay and continues. This time a bit rough. Hard... Oh my fucking.

Oh my.

I never believed Chris when she told me how amazing her sex was. Withe the "supposed experience" I had in sex. I used to agree to her statement as it is. But now.

Oh my god. My hands fall off hi neck and grasp the sheets. So hard. He puts my hand on top of my head. And increases his pace. A few more thrusts and I am gone.

One of my hand snakes in his hair again. Scratching his head.

AND i come undone.

He follows like a rhythm we both had set.

️️️**_Warning! Mature content ends.️️️️_**️️️️️️️️️️

* * *

I had crossed the river. With someone I thought or maybe think is my enemy.

No one know what is going to happen now.

I am sure of one thing though. I wanted this.

And it made me feel special... cared. The way he was gentle and soft.

I don't know if he will be more on my mind after this or like i thought... will not be.

He collapses on me. And lays there for a minute.

My hand caressing his hair.

He moves across. Holds me close as we snuggle in. As his hands snake around my naked stomach, he is already semi hard pressing into me.

His face is close ot my ear. Warming me up as the sheets do no good.

" You okay?" he sighs.

"yeah"

I can feel hi settle against my head.

He is warm. Warmth that makes you feel... Special. Wanted.

I smile to my self as my hand goes on top of his.

I think I made the right decision.

* * *

**(AN:tbh I struggle at writing sex scenes. This chapter was too tiring for me. Hard to write. I dont like that they had sex this early but to make the story line possible. To maintain the characteristics of the characters. It was needed:-\:-()**


	19. The Morning After

**Tris POV**

**_Chapter song : I like me better by Lauv) _**

I wake up to an empty bed and wrinkled sheets, Sigh into the empty space. Last night was... Amazing but he left. Like I expected. Neither of us ever promised this to be... permanent but my heart would not accept.

I knew it was my choice and Four was just being Four. So I couldn't blame him. But thoughts kept creeping in.

Was it the same for him with other girls? He just... left. After all that staring. All those looks and touches.

I sat up and tangled my hands in my hair stretched out my arms ready to pick up my bra off the ground. It wasn't like anyone was there, right?

As soon as I bent down. I heard the bathroom door knob turn.

My heart skips a beat. He stayed. Or is it him. All that night was a dream or an illusion. I just lost my virginity to some random guy.

Stepping out was a Greek God... A literal Greek God. Woah. How can someone be so perfect. Four had a towel in his hand and sweatpants on.

Only sweat pants.

My breath hitched and my body reacted in a million ridiculous ways as I gawked at him. My eyes wander to places, the dips and crevices of his perfectly sculpted body. It seems like Michaelangelo's model for his David stood here. Right in front of me. As soon as I noticed something red along his sides, he backed up into the bathroom again and locked the door. I realised that I had no clothes on.

I was naked. Completely naked. In bed. And God he saw me in the broad daylight.

I yelped as I picked up the sheets to cover my abdomen. And I could hear him cursing from behind the door.

Of course. What was I thinking trusting him. He must've seen hundreds of girls naked before. I was nothing special but I never expected him to regret and curse after seeing me like that. Of course. Things never go by your expectations, do they.

... To be honest, it hurt so bad. As a weight settled upon my chest as my thoughts were cut off...

followed by a muffled voice

"Tris could you pass me the shirt on the floor."

I looked up to realise the shirt lying on the floor. I picked up my bra, put it on and wrapped the sheets around me completely. I walked up and handed him the shirt through the small crack of the door.

I started looking for my dress as I wanted to get dressed before he came out again to curse at my naked sight.

As I wandered towards the other end of the room. I heard the door open again and a dressed Four enter the room.

Chills pepper my spine as air hits my naked back. I turn around with a jerk to face him. He is just looking at me. Not so intense but intense enough to make me conscious. And I pull the sheet up higher. He looks into my eyes. A fear settles within me. Would it be awkward? No. Fuck.

He says, "sorry Tris I... Uh was just taking a shower and I left my shirt on the floor, I thought you wouldn't be up until late and-"

"It's ok", I say to cut of his sentence, "that's not an issue".

I helplessly look around. And to avert my eyes from his.

"ummm...I just put your dress on there, right there on the chair... But I thought that you might want something more comfortable so here..." Four turns around to open Zeke's closet and grabs a sweatshirt.

"um... Wouldn't he know... I. Mean can you just take it from there."

God this is so awkward.

"Actually... this is mine. I just keep some stuff at Zeke's just in case if I plan on staying over.", he walks towards me with the sweatshirt in hand as I clutched the sheets tighter.

"It will be too big on you, so... shorts or sweatpants?"

He stops in front of me and stares at me. The sweat shirt extended towards me looking into my eyes.

I bite my lip nervously as I will him to understand that if I move my hand the sheet will fall off.

His eyes flit down to my lips and then to my almost white knuckles clenching the sheets and a frown descends upon his beautiful face.

"Are you okay Tris? . Why are your knuckles so tight around the sheets."

I whip my head to the side to not let him see the brimming tears in my eyes.

"Yeah I just need ummmm some privacy to uh chan-"

Then I feel hands grab my chin gently and his beautiful face comes back into my view.

One tear slips out as his frown deepens.

"Baby why are you crying? Are you okay.", he whispers.

Holy crap.

"Four its nothing just-... Nothing", I blabber something out.

"I am not turning away until you tell me... Did I ..", he stutters

"did I do something... um wrong?"

There's a panic in his voice and a weird fear in his eyes as he speaks.

Oh no, he thinks that its his fault. Do something damn it.

My stupid tears and feelings. I was supposed to get him out of my head.

"No Four, it's not you. In fact you were amazing... And um its just that you have had so much experience and you were really showing off some skills yesterday and I... Um I... I hope I... Um met your..." I speak fast. Trying to avoid his eyes but failing.

Some kind of realisation dawns upon him as his eyes widen. He stands there shocked for a moment but recovers just as quickly.

His hands move slowly towards my knuckles and my hand relaxes against his.. He turns over one of my hands as half the sheet falls. His eyes constantly on mine.

I could feel my breath quickening. In such a case, I usually would have had a panic attack but... I dont know what was different here. The racing breath was not panic, it was... Some kind of flutter?

I feel his fingers interlaced one of my hands and he stares into my soul.

He closes his hand around mine and raises his other hand to completely pull the sheet down... Slow and steady.

Ughhhhh why does he have to look at me like that... How can one not love that gaze. As if you're the only one person in the world. We often think and assume that people are not capable of loving unless you actually experience it. I thought so about Four. Everything had always been about him. But since last night, he has been not more than a surprise to me, a constant surprise. Every action. Every look. Every touch. A part of me wants to forget it all, forget him. Because I know my heart is going to break. But a part of me wants to give him a chance. A chance to discover me with Meon my journey.

I have always suppressed feelings, afraid of the consequences and the repercussions. I have never had the courage to face old memories. They come back... Each time. And haunt me. Eat me up. Eat up my being a bit each time.

As the sheets completely fall off my hands cross over my chest as a reflex.

Four never breaks the gaze but gently pulls my hands away.

"Tris..." his voice is hoarse and cracky as fuck.

He breathes and gulps as his Adams apple bobs.

"Do you trust me?" he whispers.

"Wha... What"

"Tris just for once please. This is so important. Do you trust me or not?" I hear his voice cutting through my extremely aware attentive body.

"Yes,... I do" I whisper out.

He steps closer to me and my breast touch his shirt clad chest.

"Turn around", he whispers.

I turn around with a waver as I am actually complete turned in right now and my u heart stops beating when he presses his chest to my back. I feel his breath on the side of my face and his cheek touches the side of my head.

I feel him breathe deeply and he turns his head to the side whispering into my ear.

"You... Honey are gorgeous, beautiful, smart... and absolutely breathtaking." he whispers into my ear.

And i think i just died of holding my breath in for so long.

I swear if i die today, the reason would be this man right here. I wanted to stop my heart. Tell it to go a little slower but... He just wouldnt let it.

I smiled as his fingers fid mine and he places them onto my hips... Along with his larger hand covering mine on both sides he glides our hands along my curve and stops when he reaches the lower strap of my bra.

"you feel that" he continues in his intoxicating voice. "You're so beautiful Tris, don't you ever think the opposite. Last night was..." he lowers his voice even more of that was even possible and his beautiful deep voice radiates waves through my body... Waves of pleasure.

" the best night i could ever have. You Tris Prior, never ever will stop being beautiful. Inside and out... For me."

No one has ever ever said this to me. And my eyes sting with the overwhelming feeling... Feeling of being... Loved?

He continues" you don't even know what you do to me every time you even cross my mind".

I smile and tilt my head to look at him behind me. Our eyes meet and i whisper, "What do i do?"

He pushes his lower half to my butt slowly and i can't help gasping outas I feel a large bump behind me. He pushes deeper and kisses my neck.

"See that... This thingy down here... it doesn't know how to lie. So you my dear..."

He turns me around in his arms. Grabs my face and stares into my soul.

"need to understand that you are incredibly beautiful and elegant." he Stas with a nod.

I smile at him while I bite my lip and kiss him on the cheek.

"Thank you Four. Last night was truly amazing. "

His fingers glide across my lips as he says" Stop doing that. I can't handle this."

He chuckles. I was... falling for him. He was a good guy.

" okay now get dressed. I'll get us some coffee on teh way home. "

With that, he leaves me hanging, hanging onto his words, his beautiful smell and his beautiful smile, his beautiful touch...

Oh god stop it! You promised yourself bit.

I get my sweatshirt on as Four starts looking for something in the closet.

I turn to the bed pulling out the sheets as they were ruined by our... Umm activities last night.

I stopped short and all colour drained out of me as I was pulling it apart. Hearing my panicking breath Four snaps his head towards me.

"What was that",... Tris? "

"What the hell is tha--" he comes behind me.

A red spot stares back at us from the green sheets. Red. What can it be. There wasn't even a need to think. I knew.

I wasn't a virgin anymore. I can't let Four know this. No.

"Tris.. Is that." he says. "Are you okay?"

I know I am being dumb. It was my decision. I can pose that I am on my period. "Four I- um... I am on my... Um per-"

He stares at me in shock. "No this is not your period blood Tris".

"eh-what. Wh- what are you talking about I know. Its my business.", I answer rudely just to lay him off.

"No Tris you were sleeping on the other side of the bed whole night. How can this possibly come here? You are not telling me something! God... It can't be." he says.

His eyes hold... Fear? Half the time I can't understand his feelings. And now he is fucking giving me mixed signals.

My heart tells me he knows it. The reason or has at least guessed it. But... my mind. It doesn't want to accept.

"Wha-at are you say-ing Four?", my voice wavers.

"Tris... Fuck." he sits down at the edge of the bed, pulling me beside him. His hands on both sides of my face.

I feel red, warm, hot with embarrassment. Embarrassed of my own lies. Lies that I had been feeding all around.

"Come on." he says with a tired sigh.

I look down, avoiding his eyes. Avoiding the subject. "You have to tell me"

At my silence he kisses me gently on my lips "Babe".

"It was my... first." I start... Fear in my chest, "with... You" I stare into his eyes.

This is it. It's all over. I've said it.

He looks away. Turns and faces ahead, staring at the closed doors. He sighs.

Silence.

Deep burning silence is all I am met with. As of the world around me had collapsed and I was alone here in this room.

"Was I- " I hear his whisper "Was I rough?"

"No"

He closes his eyes in some sort of relief.

He still doesn't look at me. As if he were ashamed of himself. He should be the proud one. He gets to add my name to his already existing trophy case.

Instead, I hear... Guilt.

"This is so fucked up Tris. If you had told me. I would have just never. At least I would have been gentle." he says.

"Four, you were incredibly gentle. It was... amazing" I keep a hand on his arm.

" You deserve so much more... First time is supposed to be. Special. Someone you trust. To take care of you just not any random guy who passes you in the party"

"You did Four." i want him to face me. Head on.

He huffs out a sarcastic laugh, "What just fuck you, senseless. Without any feeling. I was not supposed to be your first." finally his eyes shift to mine.

I shift to face him. "Four stop with your crap. It was my decision, okay. And you took care of me. I trust you." I don't let him move his eyes away.

"If it was another guy, you would've"... " he starts.

"Great you too believe that I am a slut." I huff. Its too late, I can't undo my reputation.

"Fuck no, why does every conversation between us has to end up into a fight?" his voice raising. He sighs. "Okay I am seriously confused here"

"So everybody else was lying? The other... guys" he doesn't meet my eye.

"I made them lie. Those guys were my choice. I used to make sure they were drunk enough to not remember the next day. Undressing each other is the farthest I've gone. Not more than that." I say.

He has been constantly staring at me while I speak. So I look at him.

"Why do you this Tris.. "he continues shaking his head.

"Fuck you Four. Its none of your business. There is a reason I don't want to share. Fuck off. I have a reputation to hold. Clearly I did a good job." I say looking at him.

"Are you crazy. How the Fuck would I know that all that was a lie if you never even talked to me." he says.

"okay sorry." I sigh. "But if you think that last night was a mistake. I am so sorry Four. It doesn't have to mean anything. I dont want our friends to find out." i say.

"I would never call that a mistake. But neither do I want them to know. He says.

"Would Zeke be asleep?" I ask.

"Yeah he was passed out pretty bad last night. It would be safe." he says.

"Okay then." I stand up. I give him my hand and he stands up. Towering over me. He smiles.

I smile back. I lean up a bit and whisper into his ears, "Thank you for last night Mr. Eaton." lingering for a minute. I pull away and take the sheet with me to brush it off in the bathroom. Once we are done we neaten up the room and get ready to sneak out.

I see Four standing near the door,he extends his hands." cmon we have sneaky." I happily oblige as he whisks me away towards the main door. We get into his car and we pick up our coffees from Starbucks.

As we come to a halt at my driveway. He sighs at the wheel. "This is it."he looks at me. I pick up my Starbucks and get out of the car. When I don't hear the engine roar again. I look back. He is sitting with his head into the wheel. His eyes closed.

I decide to walk up to the drivers side. Knock on the closed windows. Catch his attention and am met by a puzzled Four face. He pulls his window down for me to speak. I stare at this wonderful beauty for a second. Lean in and kiss his cheek. I linger for a moment... because I... Just wanted to.

I kiss him again at teh corner of his mouth, half of cheek and half on lips. "Bye Four" I give him one last smile and move away for him to drive. When he doesn't. "Get back to your bedroom"

"I can beat up some guys" i say half laughing.

"Tris"

"Okay okay going" I smile as I leave.

As i enter teh house and lock the door. I hear his engine roar and him driving away. I press my back to the door and smile to myself.

I really did make the right decision, right?

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**(AN : Hey guys! Here you go a new chapter! This story is going to get intense. Should I change the rating to M?)**


	20. On My Mind

**FOUR POV**

**_Chapter song : Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes_**

It was Saturday, 9:30 A.M. when I dropped her at her door. No phone calls, no face time, no texts. Nothing. I couldn't. Because I could feel her. I could feel her ending everything with that kiss at her doorstep. Heat burns where her lips had touched mine. Half on the cheek and half on my lips. The tiny hairs at the back of my neck stand up where her hands had been. My jawline burns where her lips had trailed a line of kisses. My chest, clear of scars but was warm today where her head rested while we danced together.

It is 6:00 A.M. Monday today. It has been 45 hours and 30 minutes 17 seconds exactly since we last met and she has been on my mind ever since. Not leaving me alone for even a moment.

I got distracted yesterday because she was on my mind. I accidently switched off the meat earlier leaving it undercooked. That made Marcus angry. Well. You know the story after that. He has been more aggressive lately. I think he is stressing more. Office shit. I get off my bed to make him breakfast this morning. It would be wise not to be late.

* * *

As I cook Marcus' lunch to be packed I go back to Saturday afternoon.My phone rings while I blankly stare at the ceiling trying to sleep, recover from my morning dose of Marcus.

Fucking Zeke.

_**FOUR:** What the heck Zeke. I am trying to sleep._

_**ZEKE:** No you tell me. Why the hell is my sheet washed, my bed made with some other fucking white sheet and why the heck am I finding a used condom in my bin._

He yells into my ear.Uh oh.

_**FOUR**: How the hell am I supposed to know this._

_**ZEKE**: Four don't you dare do this. I know it was you. I dont know man of it was after the party or during it. But there is a sweatshirt missing from your closet._

_**FOUR**:Zeke are you spying on me._

_**ZEKE**: What the fuck bro. You left your shirt and jeans from last night in my laundry._

_**FOUR**:Ok I know, I put them there._

**_ZEKE_**_: You're not telling me something. Who did you score it with uhhuh_

I know he is grinning at the other side of the phone. I promised her. I can't.

_**FOUR**: Yeah it was...Nita...'s friend._

More like enemy to be honest.

_**Zeke**: You serious about her.._

_**FOUR**:Of course not. It was just... One night.__Its true._

It was just one night... With her. A subtle disappointment settles in my chest.

_**ZEKE**:Four man...__I know what's coming._

_**ZEKE:**It is time for you to find a Shauna for yourself. Be a committed man now... Come on._

_**FOUR:**Zeke we have had this conversation._

_**ZEKE**: But..._

I cut the phone all before he can speak any further.

* * *

I have often wondered how would it be for dating someone... That long.

I finish up my work and set the table for Marcus. Get ready and wait for him to come downstairs.

Blue shirt and black pants. His usual office attire. He sits at the table and starts with his breakfast.

That is my cue. Everything is perfect. The breakfast and the lunch. I sneak away from the dining hall to my room.

As I get ready to go to school, thoughts stream through my mind. She would be there. Today. 46 hours and 57 minutes later. Looking fucking beautiful and I can't do anything else but look. I dont have the permission to do anything more.

I grab my jersey and get down to my car.

"You have a game today,Tobias?" I hear his voice.

"No sir. Extra practice"

"I will be early. I want you home by 5:00pm. We have... business to discuss." Marcus says.

"Yes sir." I say.

Something is wrong.

I enter the school and go to my locker. Beside hers. Tris Prior. I love how fierce she is. Always ready with a comeback. As I get my stuff organised in my locker. I hear someone knock at the back of my locker door.

I sigh roll my head back to look at the source of the voice. Sweet.

"So how is the number boy doing today?", Tris opens up her locker and gets her stuff in.

"Oh really now you're concerned about than huh?" I chuckle. "Aren't we enemies or something".

"Bro seriously." a laugh in her talk. "But yes..." she stabs my locker door back again at its place, looking me in the eye, her hand across from me. " we are still enemies." she smiles.

I can't help but laugh, leaning on to the locker, my back to it. "You're crazy."

She laughs. We had agreed that nothing would be different.

"You seem to be in a good mood today Prior." I say leaning on my locker, sideways.

Her smile has never collapsed.

"Triiiiiiiiiiiiissssssyyyyyy" a screeching voice screams in my ear and and boulders past me, towards Tris.

Fuck you Christina.

She slings her arm across her shoulder and looks around with a happy sigh.

"Ok Trissy" she says "so... How are you today!"

Tris looks at her a bit wary, "Whats gotten into you Chris".

"No nothing." she takes a good look at Tris. "You look... different. You know. Oh like." eyeing her up and down. "jumpy... More jumpy and..."

"Chris... What do you even mean." Tris continues digging through her locker.

"oooooo who have we got here today. Number boy huh? You don't have practice today." Chris says trying to divert attention.

"Chris-" I start.

"Christina. Get to point" Tris says, folding her arms. "What do you want?"

Chris sighs, "Okay okay, you got me".

"Can I ask you a huge favour? Pleaseeeeee"

"To the point Chris" Tris turns to the locker.

"So Will and I, we were supposed to go on a date tonight."

"mmmhm" Tris says.

"... but his 'step' cousin is coming over to Chicago today. This really was all not planned and... I dont want to cancel the date."

"look Chris", Tris turns to her side. "sometimes you just have to leave... I mean let go of..."

"No you listen to me Tris. Listen girl" her hand on her shoulders."You HAVE tocomeonadatetonight"

Woah. Jeez.

"What?"

Christina sighs, "Tris the only way we can go on this date is if you come along. So it will be a double date."

That freezes the frame for me. A fucking double date. No. Another guy.

Something bursts in me.

"ummmm Chris, I... am not sure. I mean I... Uh" Tris says.

"Oh god, come on, he is a nice guy. Pleasssseeee." Chris whines.

I try to look busy with my surroundings. Anything but her.

"Ohk just one date." Tris says. Smiling at Christina and biting that fucking lip.

"Omg Omg, I love you Tris."

"okay..." okay... Calm down Chris."

"I'll go tell Will. He is going to be so happpppyyyyy." Chris runs off. "Bye Four" I nod my head in response.

Tris shakes her head as if she couldn't believe herself. And mutters something to herself. She turns back to her locker to close it.

I put my back hard to my locker door. To push down that feeling... Something burning in my chest. My hands in my pocket, clenching at the fabric. I want to be in control. Control of my words and actions

"Sooooo... Um do you know this guy?"

I start. My Mind wanders to all the possibilities of the date. Tris kissing another guy. His hands on her. His face so close to hers. Their eyes never leaving each other's. Tris on his bed. Him inside of...

Stop.

"Who? "

"You know Will's... cousin." I venture. God shut the fuck up Four.

"No I mean, you know. Will has mentioned him a few times and he seems like a nice guy." she says.

I scoff. "So you are telling me that you would go out with the first guy you hear about and you know nothing about him."

"woah woah. Who says he is the first guy huh and I trust my friends. Anyways why do you care." she counters.

"Tris come on. Be sensible." I says.

"Jeez it's Just a date Four. Stop it." she shoulders her bag and walks away.

"Look... TRIS! PRIOR."

What if he is a d*ck.

WHAT if he forces himself upon her.

WHAT if he kisses her without consent.

WHAT if he really is perfect. I'll loose her. Forever.

I stand there staring at the empty hallway now. She rounded about a corner.

I never had her. How could I loose her.

What if she really wants this. She likes him too. They would be perfect. He would be happy and she would be happy. No shit to deal with. No belts. No need to hide anything. The perfect relationship.

Just because we slept together one night. I can't hold her back. From others. From anybody. No. It was that kiss. Half on my mouth, half on my cheeks which ended everything.

* * *


	21. The Talk

**(AN: This chapter contains abuse!!️️️️️ Warning signs will be given. Please make sure you are of the right age and are comfortable reading it or else skip it.) **

* * *

**FOUR POV**

**_Chapter song :Burning In The Skies by Linkin Park_**

"You are late" I hear him. That monster.

"Sorry sir, I... The roads were jammed. There was a minor accident on the way", I close my eyes tight waiting for the first blow.

"What are you doing there son. Come sit. Have a drink with me." he says.

What the actual fuck!!!!

Is he out of his mind. MARCUS EATON is calling me and offering me a drink while I have come in late to meet him.

I apprehensively approach him. Cautious and careful. Like a prey approaching a predator out of compulsion.

He slides me a whiskey while he sips his own.

"I thought... We hadn't had a father to son talk in a long time Tobias."

I want to scoff. Have we ever. Is he even my father. Bastard. I decide that it would be wise for me to keep my mouth shut.

"So how are you, son?" He begins.

"Ummm ... I am fine, sir."

"Listen Tobias, I am not here to teach you here today. I am here to talk. You can talk to me...", silence, "about anything."

"Yes sir", I say, keeping my voice down.

How in the hell am I supposed to trust him.

Marcus sighs, "You remember, the day...when we lost your mother?"

I pull my attention to my fingers interlacing in my lap. What in the world is he trying to do?

"Do you, or do you not?", there it is, harsh again. His voice sends shivers through my spine, chilling me to the core.

"Yes sir, I do.", my voice is barely a whisper. Something trembled within me.

"What did you see that day?" Marcus' voice rattles me. Screams echo in my mind, a pressure settles on my chest. I see him shift, his hands going to his belt. Memories flood in. Like a storm.

* * *

**... ️️️Warning️️️...**

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**(Mature content ahead: ABUSE)**

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_Screams...a lady screaming. Young. In pleasure. Telling someone to be harsh, harder. I don't know why. I see a closed door and loud banging on the door. My daddy's bedroom. The screams stop and a lady walks out. She is young, younger than my mom. A robe around her body. My mom's. Everything is blurry. Her face is bright, makeup, my mom told me._

_Where is she._

_The lady walks out of the main door, clothes in her hand. I keep hiding. In the corner. Inside. It's safe._

_I wake up, my vision a bit blurry from sleep, I hear her. My Angel._

_"Who the hell was she Marcus?"_

_"Why do you even care, you whore? You have a child at home and you come home that late. No dinner for me. Nothing."_

_"Who the fuck are you having an affair with?"_

_"You know what, I will let you know...You fucking bitch. She is so much better than you at her job. She is my colleague. You are a Psychopath, a whore, a slutty excuse of a mother."_

_"How long ?" she sighs._

_"Let me show you how long."_

_I hear screams...again. But not of happiness or pleasure. They were painful. Like someone burns your soul. I hear my mother. I pluck all the courage and step out of the closet. The door is closed. Tears stream down my face. No. I cant let him. I bang on the door. More screams._

_"Tell your fucking worthless piece of shit to go away." I hear him._

_"Marcus don't you dare project your anger at him." , she is fierce. Fearless. For me._

_I hear her cry, cry to me. " Mom", "Mommy."_

_"Honey, go sleep. Please. I love you so much. Please baby. For momma. I will meet you tomorrow. I love you Tobias, baby", her voice cracking._

_My fists hurt, but I bang again. For her.I had to go._

_Bye Momma._

Bye.

I remember that day. Memories comes in pieces. This was just the first time, from where it had become extreme. At least not in front of my own eyes. Because he had saved that for later.

_I hear the plate crash to the floor._

_"Piece of shit, is that why I spend so much on you."_

_"Marcus not him!" she stands there, her head bowed down. Looking at her knees. Submission. Because of me._

_"You better straighten up your son a little bit. Or I will have to do it." Marcus._

_I hide behind the kitchen cabin and hear the lashes of the belt._

_Skin and belt clashing. Tearing into my mothers skin. Her whimpers and her cries echo in my mind fresh and clear. "Marcus ple- eas- ee" her voice cracks. "It hurts. Please "_

_All I can hear is more lashes. and the belt appears my way beside me. He throws it, What if I can't see him or her and can only hear him, he makes sure that I see that...thing. Blood covered. The edges sharp and strong. Like a blade._

_Silent tears go down my face and I can't do anything but close my eyes._

_And then I hear him. "Let our son take lessons from this.What happens when you disobey."_

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**... ️️️Warning️️️...**

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**(Mature content ends)**

* * *

I gasp out of the thoughts. A tear slips out of my eye.

it was not the day my mother left. There was more to it. Much more. But I can't. Not now.

"I dont clearly remember sir" I say.

Lies. I have to lie. Because if I don't , it will all come back. Like a storm. I can hear her screams, and i stand helpless. Like always.

"Okay, I want you to forget about that day. She was a whore, a fucking selfish bitch. She couldn't fulfill her responsibilities as a woman and as a Wife.", I hear him say.

Fucking bastard. I am going to kill this pig.

"I am going to tell you my story son.", My head snaps to him. "My father was...hard on me. Just like I am on you. And my mother was a fucking psychopath. Call girl. Different man every night. My father raised on my own and even though he was hard on me.Teaching me my lessons, he taught me well. Just like I am teaching you."

"Why are you telling me this" I whisper.

"This made a man. A man that I am today. A strong one, he taught me that. Women are weaklings. They have to be tamed. You know, like training a lion. You should know how to make that lion into a cat, rendering to your wishes. They may be teaching you in book and fucking school about all the empowerment crap. I am telling you its shit Tobias. You can not succeed if don't control them. Just like I did to your mother. For that you need to be trained and I have been doing my job really well. IT is all you Tobias. You are just like your mother, a worthless piece of shit. Nothing can be expected out of you. But I want you to succeed son. You have to listen to me."

"I became my father against my wishes.I had to use it on you. Because it is the only way you can teach a child and you worthless kid, will become me. There is no escape."

An anger rises in me. A bubble of heat. This son of a bitch. What does he think he is. Fuck you Marcus.

"You didn't deserve my mother an you're a fucking bastard." I seethed through my teeth.

I look at his eyes. Dangerous. Warring. Anger reaching to heaven and back. Black like hollow pits.

"What did you just say."

"I said you're a fucking big fat bastard." I scream at the top of my lungs.

Marcus is menacingly calm. Quiet.

" Shirt off"

Something settles in me. My ears and my face burns. All my anger draining out of me. My whole being replaced by the 5 year old kid. At the mercy of his father.

"I want your shirt off you Little piece of shit."

My hands go to my face but he is faster. He gets me. Like it has been all these years. I feel my cheek burning. Fear settles within me. Something bad. My breath starts to pace. Taking away my senses. I am that 5 year old boy who did nothing for his mother while my supposed 'father' took her away ...from me.

**... ️️️Warning️️️...**

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**(Mature content ahead: ABUSE)**

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My legs buckle as I fall off the chair to my knees. My head down. Before I can reach my hands to pull off my shirt the buckle is heard. I close my eyes to pull it off all at once but I feel feet on my back. My old scars opening up. My already bleeding back bleed further. And I prepare my self for the first one.

My skin pricks.Like someone has put in an entire needle, then comes a slash. Knives dig into my back. Leather against skin. The same sound that i had heard hiding behind the counter. The difference was that it was not my mother anymore. It was me. and There was no helpless child this time. It was just ...me. A helpless child in the body of an 18 year old.

The lashes keep coming and then I hear him speak. "You better start respecting me you son of a Bitch. You know..." , his voice is raspy, deep and utterly dangerous. sending shivers down my spine. " You have nothing...I said nothing, if you go to the fucking police, they will never believe you. You will have no money, no house. You better pay back all the money that I have spent on you." .

He never stops. The belt comes on me again.

Ten. I believed he would stop there.

Fifteen. He gets my ribcage.

Twenty three, My lower back.

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**... ️️️Warning️️️...**

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**(Mature content ends)**

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" You are never going to escape me Tobias...Never..."

My eyes become blurry, my mind incoherent to make up thoughts. I see a smug smile. His smile.

Darkness envelopes me.

️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️

(AN: Phew that was intense to write!)


	22. The Date

**TRIS POV****_Chapter song :Where were you in the morning? By Shawn Mendes _**

I wait at the carnival with Chris where we were supposed to meet the boys. I wasn't in the mood for dressing but Christina being so desperate to get me a boyfriend forced me into a pink halter and jeans, a shit load of makeup and boots.

I look at myself into my camera once more.

God why am I being so nervous today. Its just a date right?

"Trissy listen, Will's here" her phone to her ear. Probably talking to Will.

"I'll go real quick and give them their tickets. Wait here babe okay!" Chris says.

"Yeah sure" I smile at her.

My mind wandered to things. I have changed. A lot. And what surprises me the most is that it took only one night.

I was like a girl. Looking for senseless love. Waiting for something that never was supposed to come. For the perfect one. But now. It's just... Different.

I haven't been able to get that night out of my head, the morning after. The senseless kisses, the dancing, the se-.

Stop. You fucking said you will forget about him. It was just your stupid needs. Just a freaking desire. It was all physical. I was drawn to him. He was drawn to me and we just did it. So freaking stop.

"You must be Tris", I hear a voice. Smooth, sultry, almost rhythmic.

I see sneakers, my eyes moving upwards to an extended hand, tattoos on arms. A tight T shirt and jeans.

Jesus.

This guy works out. His face is... Ummm well.

"You areee..." I shake his hand.

A hand snakes around his shoulder, Will's, "that's my cousin Tris! All the way from LA"

"Hi, I am Eric. Eric Coulter.", damn that smile.

"Hi Eric, I am Tris... Tris Prior."

He has a lot of tattoos and his face is pierced. Hell pierced a lot.

Its not that bad... But its okay I mean. I don't mind.

"So Eric, Tris is your date tonight. Unless you want to challenge Will and swap dates." Chris extends her hand and places it on his arm.

What the hell.

My head swaps to hers. She is smiling at Eric. Will's right here and she is flirting with him. What the hell is wrong with you Chris.

She laughs it off and tries to divert the attention, "Nah, just kidding."

"He is my man.." she clings on to Will's arm.

He has a look, a bit wary.

"You're funny" Eric laughs.

"Okay come on, it's time to enjoy." Chris pulls away from us and drags Will with her.

Eric extends his hands to me, "So... shall we".

I smile as I take his hand. It is rough. Gritty like a man's but he is careful. A stance of caution as he pulls me.

After 3 rides, 2 beers each we sit down tired.

Chris and Will start making out... as usual and as expected.

"Let's give them some privacy shall we. Come on I want to show you something" Eric says.

"Where? I mean we are in the middle of a carnival." I ask a bit apprehensive.

"Hey, trust me. Come on its a surprise."he chuckles.

" Okay. Don't get any wrong ideas though. " I laugh off the comment even though I totally mean it.

" Never" he raises his hands in the air.

We walk out of the carnival through a cut in the fence right near the big Wheel. Its nothing just thick bushes and shrubs which transcend into somewhat woods. The path is rocky and curvy.

"Where are we going Eric? "

"I told you, it is a surprise. Okay let's play 20 questions just the cliché of first dates."

I chuckle.

"Okay my first question is... Where are we going?", I fold my arms and smile at him trying to gauge his reaction.

"You are a real piece of art Tris Prior, did I tell you that" he says "it is still a surprise... But nice try".

"Phew you are persistent aren't you.", I roll my eyes.

"Okay now me, your favourite place or idea of a perfect date"

"umm ... Let me see. Well... Umm i think it would be something more... Adventurous. You know i like getting out. See the world." I say.

We continue on our path.

"Wait why did you ask me that?"

"You know, to... Prepare for our next date."

A smile creeps into my face, involuntarily. "isn't that a bit presumptuous of you" I say in my fun voice.

"Well you see. I am not like other guys."

"Sure you aren't... So Will is from your mother's side or you're father's si-?" I ask, sincerely curious.

"Well. I am related to Will's mothers side. Her brother happens to be my step-dad. He is amazing believe me. And my mom, she left my actual dad, 9 years ago... So she dated a few guys thinking that the 9 year old me would you know... Need a father figure for growing up. Nothing clicked actually until 2 years ago. They are happy now. " he says.

" Wow that is so great. Its cool they found each other. You know its hard to get the right guy. These days. "

" Yeh I am happy. " he smiles at me briefly and turns ahead to continue." okay so your turn, Missy. What about your parents? "

"Um actually they work for the government. You know interstate affairs. So you know a lot of travelling and stuff."

"Oooooh"

"what's with those tattoos?"

He gives me a look.

I can't help but smile. "You get that a lot huh?"

"Yeah you guessed that right".

We round about a tree and the place is blocked, Eric takes a right turn.

"I worked in a tattoo parlour back at LA."

"What do you mean by worked? As in past tense? You don't, anymore?" I ask.

"Actually we are moving in here, next week. I just came early. You know to adjust to school and stuff."

"So you'll be coming to our school ?"

"yepp"

Wow. "that's great".

He chuckles a bit, "Yes it is".

"Yeh here we are" he pulls me to a rock.

"This place? "

" Ohhhhkay I don't think you get it, come here", he sits on the rock and pulls me down, "this big boy", he pays the surface, his hand close to mine. "is my think rock. When I need some time for myself I come here."

"You don't even live here, how do even know this place?" I ask, my curiosity peeking up.

"I came here last time I visited chicago. Good thing we are moving." he says looking at me.

I CAN'T look away. He demands my attention, holding my stare.

I breathe deeply. Something is up with me.

"You want to play the silly version?" he says. His voice low.

"What" I smile at him.

"You know, questions thingy?" his voice smooth, like silk.

"okay" I whisper.

"Favourite colour?" he starts.

"Blue and black at equal footing. No further arguments. Yours?"

"Black. Favourite sport?"

"Cheerleading, no debating. I consider it as a sport. Favourite food? "

"Jeez... Cheeseburgers, yours?"

"The evergreen pizza" I say spreading my arms open. Eww I am so dramatic.

"Dream city?"

"okay you got me, It is still LA by tit will soon be Chicago" he winks.

"How many boyfriends have to you had"

"none"

"I don't believe you"

"Oh please do because it is true."

"Come on Tris"

"how many many girlfriends have you had"

"That would be you assuming that I am single"

"Well I feel my assumption is true"

"Okay 2 till date."

"Weirdest place you've had sex in?"

That catches me off guard.

"What? "

"Weirdest palace you have had sex in... Come on", Eric says.

That... Caught me off gaurd.

"Um why would you ask me that?"

"It is just a part of the game" he says.

I open my mouth to reply but close it again at loss of words.

"How are you so comfortable talking about this?" I ask. Bewildered.

"ummmm... You're not?"

"Of course I am not... Come on its just the first date."I exclaim.

"Look before everything escalates further, I... anything happens between us ever, you know... partners should know each other's preferences."

"Eric, nothing is happening"

All this time he had been speaking while looking at me but he averts this time, his gaze.

"Yeh, I didn't mean it like that."

"No like... Why should we even go there..."

"Its just sex, nothing much right" he says.

"What do you mean nothing much."

"Sex is just... Physical. What's wrong in that. Two people touching each other and meeting each other. That is all"

"so you're telling me that it has... No emotion in it."

"of course not."

Memories come back to me. That night when he looked into my eyes while hovering over me. Was there really no emotion, no feeling. But that intensity...

"See its purely physical. I just need to make sure that we know each other's views on it before we date."

"Ohh..ok yeah so. You don't have emotions or feelings for the person whom you have sex with"

"Some people do. And if we are interested in that type of a relationship, let me know before I can catch feelings." he chuckles. "But i have always found that stupid. Its just a body part. Why do you have to be emotional about that. What do you think?it is Just exploring yourself"

I remember Four, his mouth on me, taking me to heaven and back. That was just physical right. Just as I had thought before. I could get him out of my mind. I dont think I was catching feelings for him. It was just physical and will be. The stares must have meant nothing. All this talk with eric had done was to confirm my views. Make me more sure that those heartbeats and those stares meant nothing. It was just momentary heat of the moment. This morning at school, it was normal... Wasn't it? He was back with his cocky ass comments and I was back to my own world. So while it lasts... Why not enjoy it.

"hmhm Interesting theory. Actually I was like that... For a moment, I though maybe I was wrong." I chuckle, "sex maybe does bring on feelings like they show in our own cliché romcoms."

"well, now, you just confirmed my thoughts" I smile at him.

He is cute and... Smart and so clear in his opinions.

"well I think i have come to the right person finally" he sighs.

"Tris, I am not here to push you into anything, I am here to know you. It was just my opinion that i wanted to share. Because many girls don't like this thing about me. So don't you ever get pressured into anything. I just had to say it... I am sorry"

"I totally understand."

I smile at him for he was being honest. Ready to give me my space. Our views were same. I once believes that i would wait for the "one". But I had been so wrong. I should just enjoy it. Exploring myself, my likes and dislikes. Realisation about the complete lack of relationship between sex and emotion had hit me much earlier, when I thought my body was craving for Four Eaton. But when I was beneath him. He changed it for me. Turns out it was not true. It was some dumb heat of the moment thing that had made me feel that I was catching feelings. It was nothing but lust and desire. Eric just made my views a bit clear. And I was ready, to do what I have to. To explore my world around and not sit like a dumb bitch thinking about my non existant "the one".

"You never answered my question" I hear him.

I laugh.

"Okay i am so sorry to disappoint you but it's just the bedroom. What about you?" I ask.

He laughs as if the memory was very clear and pictures were hanging in front of him, "okay so one time, I was at this beach and this girl I was dating was with me. Apparently the porn we were watching was too much and well she pulled me up behind the rocks on the corner of the beach and that was it. 13 orgasms, 2 porn films and 3 hours later we got back home. God it was awesome. " he chuckles.

" I look at him. Too much detail Eric. " he made me feel comfortable. To talk about this. And i was.

We talked for a few more minutes before we decided to get back to stop Chris and Will from going too far with their PDA. And Eric dropped me home.

This was it.

I knew what I wanted.

I picked up my phone and a bit of doubt lingered in my mind. I pushed it back and clicked over Four's contact.

I texted him and stared at it for a couple of minutes.

**_"Do you want to do it again?" _**

* * *

**(AN: Suggest songs for this chapter please. I was a bit lost on this one.)**


	23. The Text

**FOUR POV**

**_Chapter song : Physical by Dua Lipa _**

I woke up to the sound of footsteps and a bang of the front door, then I see him. Walking past with a bottle in his hand. The door closed and some engine roars away.

He is gone. I try to move but my eyes are still blurry. Pain rips through my right side all through my ribs to my back.

I feel my back burning and then I remember, I had lost count, lost count of the number of times the belt came down on me just a few hours ago.

My head was in searing pain and my arms were rigid. Like everything was... broken. I willed all my energy and pushed myself up. Staggering bit. My legs were like jelly, as if to collapse any moment. My vision was failing me but I had to get to the bathroom. I crawled up the stairs, on my four limbs. The carpet was soaked, of... my blood but fuck that shit.

I walked and walked and finally found the knob of my bathroom.

Fuck when did my room become this big.

My fucking shirt was soaked in blood and sharp stings attacked my back as I tried to pull away the shirt off.

The water was warm and inviting... But I knew, it was going to hurt. Really bad.

I saw the water flow, red into my bathtub drain, my cuts were bleeding. Not stopped yet. I finished my shower and dried off my front making sure not to let any of my other cuts open. I swallowed two pills and tied up my back. I had to stock up... I was running out of supplies.

I thrash back onto the bed and I could remember a low notification sound as my heavy eyelids close. My Mind numb because of the pain.

Now when I look at my phone hopelessly, I am lost.

It is 11 in the morning. Marcus never came back. Or even if he did, he left the house as it is. I had to skip school hoping that Amar would cover for me.

Everything was fucked up. And now... It is even more.

"Do you want to do it again?" I repeated to myself willing the text to disappear from my screen. It was the girl I could get off my fucking mind.

Fuck.

Is that it. What she means. I remember her beneath me. Never leaving my eyes. I usually leave after my one night stands. There is a reason they call them that. But i just couldn't. She was drawing me in. So beautiful and fierce. I could have not even imagined what would it be like before I did it. We wanted that, both of us.

Fuck, did she have to do this. Just the thought of her wanting that with me was enough to get me to the edge.

My hand snaked into my pant as memories from the night sneaked into my mind. I could feel her eyes on me. Her lips on my mouth, my jaw, everywhere. I sighed to myself. How many times would I have to do this... again. I wanted it real. But i simply couldn't. Even though my brain cells combusted just by the fact that she texted me. I knew she could do better than this. Better than me, I would be more than happy just getting myself off by thought of her than pushing her into my shit. She could date a good guy, she could make love to him and not just... Fuck.

My Mind recreated the burns in my chest that I felt as she agreed to Christina's offer to go on a date. Maybe she liked him.

Maybe I knew what she wanted but I couldn't give it to her.

I flicked my phone off and got back into my deep slumber, my back upwards. My chest stuck to the bed and sleep overpowered me.

* * *

**TRIS POV**

I hover around my locker, staring into the empty space where he would rather be searching for his things. Tori's class was quiet today. Lack of that asshole's banter in my ear, his constant flirting and his constant snarky remarks made it empty.

I saw two fingers snap in front of my eyes,

"Tris what are you thinking?" Zeke's voice cuts in.

"um,... N.. Nothing why?"

"You just looked lost."

I smile at him, a bit apprehensive of his observation.

"just... Something on my mind"

He nods his head and turns back to Tori.

"Umm Zeke, do you maybe..." nerves set in. "do you like have any idea where... Um" I look everywhere but him "Four is today"

He looks at me weird and stumbles a bit with his answer, maybe due to my apprehensive tone.

"N. No I was wondering the same. He must be hungover or some shit. Whenever he doesn't come he is always just doing his dad's office shit. Why what's wrong?"

"Nothing just asking. What... Umm... what about the office shit."

"I don't know its some paperwork. He says so. His dad is in a huge position and he wants Four to do the same. Its actually depressing. He wants to-"

Tori's voice cuts in. "Silence there"

We shook out head at the same time to escape Tori's glare.

As I ponder on what Zeke had told me, I whisper him a thank you and I force my eyes towards the class.

*****

I roll back and forth on the balls of my heels, rocking lightly, I press my heels to the ground,

Oh shit, I swipe out my phone to see my last message.

_**To Four Eaton,**_

_**Tris: **do you want to do it again?_

Fuck.

My hand hovers over the message yearning to see whether he had read it or not.

Apprehension shows in when i go to click the chat box,

Should I delete it? Yes. No. Yes. Involuntarily my hand pressed the message and the box opened.

Read. Check.

There was no turning back now. I could have asked him in a better way but it was the moment. The same day as my date. The text, I agree was impulsive.

A weight settled down in my chest. Is he ignoring me. He'll no he can not. He simply cannot. He is just maybe busy with paperwork shit. My hands visibly shake as i look at the message. And thoughts creep in. Of him ignoring me. Not talking to me. No flirting. No messing around. I started to feel a little doubt...

Was I used? Did he use me.

I would be a hypocrite because I was in a way asking permission to use him to find myself... In bed. My choices. After that damn text message. He has no fucking right to use me. And i was doing the right thing asking him. It is better to be frank.

Chris slides in beside me. " Hey Trissy. How you're doing baby girl"

"Hey Chris, yeah... Um fi.." I shove my phone into my bag with a jerk, "fine".

"uhhu hon, what did I see there, who was tha huh" she teases getting her teasing smile on.

"No.. No one. Just.. Mom you know"

"ohhh. Anyways i dont believe you how was date with Eriiiiiic" she sings out his name.

"Chris stop keep it down."

"aww baby, you're blushing. Was he good in bed?"

"God, I am not blushing. And WE DID NOT HAVE SEX" I whisper scream at her.

"What but didnt he drop you home. And usually when guys drop you home..."

"Chris! Shut up. No. He just dropped me okay."

She giggles. "Oh okay... So what were you guys doing for so long in the woods"..

"we were just talking Chris!"

"Okay okay fine. But did you like him?"

"God... Whats your obsession with Eric. He is nice." I roll my eyes.

"awwwww I can see that blush Babe". You like him yaaaaas. You are mrs Prior, going on a date with him"

"No I mean he is a good friend, and he is cute but... I dont think I am ready for a relationship right now."

"are you ever. Come on Tris enjoy life" she rolls her eyes.

"Look Chris. I like him and all but I really don't know if I can do that right now. You know, dating is just... Hard"

"How do you know?"

"Come on Christina. Listen hon, I don't like him that much to date him. He is okay. I mean I can try but I need some time to get into a full fledged relationship. Maybe it's is Eric or maybe someone else. I dont know."

" Lets cut you some slack. Promise me try it one week. Just for me please. I want my best friend to be happy."

" Hm... I'll think about it. " just to get her off my back.

"Yesssssss I love you Trissy. You're the best. "

Chris waits for me to finish with my locker business as we get to her car.

"Wait", Chris starts, "I have been meaning to ask you, how did you get home from the party"

I freeze, my hand on the handle of the shotgun. Only one name comes to my mind and the things along with that name. Four Eaton.

She throws the questions o casually that she slides into the drivers seat without noticing any of my "frozen" state and the hard bright red blush that comes to my face.

"Tris what's wrong with you. Get in the car."

She knocks on the window startling me to awareness again.

"YEAH sorry"

"Are you okay?"

"yeah totally"

Why were yous o shocked when I asked that? "

" umm nothing just uh... I dont remember ... Anything. I think i was too drunk to remember anything and you know with the hangover and all."

"oh you're so right. It took em all weekend to get sober again. Thank god Will's parents were not home that Saturday. I just told mom I was staying over for homework and we spent yeh day at his place. It was baaaad."

"oh yeah" I look out of the window to hide my still recovering face.

"and Saturday night we woke up and had our breakfast.. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. Breakfast at night. And... Basically life was bliss from then on. All Night long Will and I just enjoyed soo much. It was the best..."

"Chris, I don't need to hear that"

"No you have to hear... Imm your best friend." she continued talking about her loooong night with Will.

"OMG stop Chrissy" I chuckle at her antics.

"so we did it all night long and then he was like soo good-"

I plug my fingers into my ears, "okay stop" I laugh.

* * *

**(Hey guys! Lately I have not been motivated to cont this story... Idk why I just am not able to. Its been hard to write. I need some inspiration. Even though I have a set storyline I am finding it difficult to put that into words. I'll try my best. Please enjoy and comment if you like it. )**


	24. Trial And Error

**(AN: A huge shoutout to all the precious readers supporting me. You keep me going @ Divergent31, @nasa0.0 and @Whoopdiwhoop) **

* * *

**FOUR POV **

I punch in my code into the locker to get my jersey out. As I fumble with the papers scattered I feel a presence beside me.

"Good job you showed up...finally."

I can recognise that voice anywhere. I sigh to myself but do not turn around. It has been 2 days since she sent that damn message.

"Hello Tris"

"I think we agreed that it would be nothing different than the usual" Tris says.

This makes me turn around. What does she even think of herself. Sending that damn message would make everything okay. She wants it to be normal even though SHE was the one who sent that fucking message.

I feign innocence, "Why what's wrong. Is it different?" I look at myself down at my clothes and then at her, checking out her clothes.

Goddamn she has to look that hot.

"I think everything looks the same. Anything different?"

Her nostrils flare out, "You're an ass."

"Oh thank you." I turn back to my locker.

"Well Eaton, you think everything is the damn same huh? Where were you yesterday?... Oh wait. You didn't want to face me so you dragged your dumb ass brain to home doing some stupid paperwork of your father's, isn't it?"

That gets me. "You talked to Zeke?" I grit through my teeth. That's what I tell him when I am home beaten up by that shithead.

"Well someone is running out of excuses lately isn't it?" she smiles an overly sarcastic smile.

I glare at her never leaving eye contact. "Whats your problem."

"Four, why are you ignoring me?" she raises her voice, some heads snap towards us. This is not a thing to talk about in front of people.

I grab her arm and slam my locker shut pull her with me into a janitors closet.

"Well, you know what your fucking problem is? It is that you are lost. You don't know what you want from yourself or others. So put the blame on the person in front of you. If you ever really wanted it to be normal, you would have never sent that fucking stupid message. You get that" I say pointing at her.

" Well it would have been normal if you had the guts to face me not being a coward and slipping into your rat hole. You left me on fucking read instead of talking to me. And you..." she jabs me on my chest. "Used me. You used me just to add my name to some fucking list that you might have made up so that you can flaunt around that you slept with the only girl who wasn't ready to do it. Well congratulations Mr Eaton. You successfully completed your mission." she screams back.

Shit. She thinks I just wanted to have sex. And it was all... Only sex. No. I look at her. She is so beautiful, her eyes glisten with water. She really thinks that I used her. No. I admit. I wanted to, so fucking bad. But I can't go further. Not further than an one night stand. So I let it go. Even though it breaks me inside. I let her go.

"I did not use you okay. Just get that shit out of your mind. You too. Wanted this Tris and the text right in my phone is a proof that you did and still fucking do. So it would be much better if you admit it, suck it up and leave this alone. This..." I take out the text on my phone showing it to her," This cannot happen. That was only one night Tris. We cannot do this again. It was the deal"

"I am not in the hell asking for a relationship."

"Well I think you should have thought about it before you agreed on that fucking date. It would be much better if go and fuck that guy whoever he was? I hope he makes you equally happy and-" I hear the lock twist open and a janitor enters the closet only to stop short after seeing us.

"umm" he clears his throat, " I hope you kids are done with whatever you were doing. School is about to start" he says.

I take a last glare at Tris and walk past him out of the closet.

* * *

The day goes by as it always does and I couldn't get that fight out of my mind.

Tris needs to calm the duck down and I can't get attached to her. What in the world did she even mean that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

I don't look at her the entire day. Keep working, doing my job. One week... Just one week ago we were fine. Getting along with our day, throwing out random flirts at each other. Well the weekend changed it all.

Sure of my decision I try to ignore her presence the whole day. Unfortunately, the cheer team had their new practice area ready, right next to the football field and the girls were supposed to practice for the seasons opening ceremony to be held 2 weeks later.

I kick the ball hard.

"Goooooooaaaaal yaaas bitch suck it up" Zeke yells showing a middle finger to Peter. I fling my shirt and sweat droplets fall off to the ground with it.

"Positions" I hear Amar yell.

My attention goes to the cheer practice corner where Tris stands in her uniform and her hair up in a messy bun, her back to me and talking to her friends.

"Four attention" Amar yells. The ball whizzed past me to the opponents player. I dodge Drew coming straight at me and run after the ball, adrenaline kicks in as they expertly pass the ball to each other and get it to the goal. Simon, our goalie gets it but they fort the area to put it back into the goal from the other corner.

"What the fuck are you doing Four" I hear Zeke yell.

"Boys language. You are still a part of the school team"

Zeke stops being me giving a slap to my already aching shoulder, "We will get it next time. You okay?" he asks with a nod. I nod back mutely, my eyes travelling back to the cheer practice where I caught Tris looking at me, fire in her eyes. She averts her gaze and Nita catches my attention.

Shit.

She smiles at me. And raises her hand to wave. Her uniform, yeh skimpiest, showing off her ass. I nod my head in acknowledgment just to not come out as too rude. I concentrate back on teh game tuning out the voices of the cheering team.

The practice stretches for the next 1 hour and people start packing up. I see Tori slip out uniforms to teh girls as they take them back. Tris lingers back.

Packing up teh leftovers into a carton.

It looks like she is going home on her own today. Chris hugs her and leaves towards the school building. As teh boys exit the field I remain for the extra practice.

My back is ripped bad today and I really need Amar to help me out. I pick up the ball and start kicking it against the goal.

Tris stalks to me and glares at me till I stop with my anger on the ball.

I sigh. "What happened?"

"We never got to finish our conversation. "

"Does it matter, the answer is still no. "

"Four stop being a d*ck."

I face her my head full of irritation and a part of me wanting to fuck her right here right now of she asks one more time. Why does she want it with me.

" Okay Tris, look I am sorry I did not even address you today and the text. But I don't think this is going to work out. I only... Fuck" I lower my voice well aware that Amar was standing just meters away. "I can't be in a relationship. I will just end up breaking your heart because that is what I have ever done to every other girl so there is no point-"

"I don't want to be in a relationship Four. You are practically the only one who knows..."

I see Amar watching me silently.

I lower my voice even further.

"Do you have a ride home?" I ask her.

"What the fuck you care about the ride right now!"

"Tris we cannot have this conversation right now okay. I saw Chris leave. Ill drop you home. We will talk on the way. Can you wait for half an hour?"

She sighs. "I don't like fighting". "okay 5o clock. I'll be in the parking area."

"Thank you so much", and she turns around and enters the building. I continue with the practice.

I knew it was going to happen, as of on queue Amar comes beside me.

He folds his arms across his chest and sighs. Rounding about as I kick the ball and receive it back.

" Trouble in paradise."

I catch the ball in my hand and still in front of him.

"Fuck paradise"

"You are so bad whipped" he says.

My head snaps to him in anger, "What the hell Amar!"

"No just look at you how calm you were when talking to her" he says.

"Should have seen this morning"

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"You guys were not even talking to each other a few days ago, the last time I saw you guys... You were chickening out. And now?"

"Now what Amar. We always have fought and we always will fight"

"I am married kiddo. These fights don't happen without a reason. See experience talks." he smirks.

"It is just a misunderstanding okay!" I raise my voice in frustration.

"Did you fuck up?"

"I don't know."

"Its okay you can talk to me".

"I told you it was just a misunderstanding".

"I know you better than that kid".

Heat burned in my chest, I was fucking irritated, angry, frustrated. I had no control anymore.

"Just leave it alone Amar."

"Okay take your time. But as we told you... Me and Tori, give yourself a chance"

"And I told you that I am not going to do that shit. I am not worth it."

"You are more than what you show."

"I am just a man whore okay. That is what they think and it would be the best that way".

"But you're not. You're not just that".

"Amar!"

"Four, you pose to be like that. It is not you. You have to open up to someone. You have to choose tha-"

"I FUCKING SLEPT WITH HER OKAY!"

It comes as a shock to me and not only to Amar. What I just said.

I lower my voice to digest what I had just done.

"I slept with her... and now I am in deep shit" I whisper.

Amar sighs. "You fucked up real bad kiddo." looking at me.

I knew my story with Tris.. had to end. Now or... NEVER.

* * *

**(AN: Hey guys. This just came to me suddenly. And I wrote it down. So 2 chapters in a day. Yaaay!!)**


	25. Trial And Error Part 2

**FOUR POV**

**_CHAPTER SONG: Dancing on my own by Calum Scott_**

"I thought it was the only chance I had with her... And everything just went on so quickly." I sigh into the empty space.

I wince as Tori sponges off my back with some healing cream.

"Shhhhh... it's okay. Why was he so rough?", she whispers.

"We had a talk...about mom."

I hear Tori breathe behind me. "Don't believe him". It was more of a command rather than a statement.

Amar stops fiddling with the bottle sticker in his hand and turns his attention to me. "Is she mad at you?"

"I don't know. "

Tori finishes applying cream and moves ahead of me to grab the roll up bandages.

"Anyone would feel used if they want another chance and it is denied. Along with the repo you both have around here, it is not helping." she says.

"Tori I did not use her."

"I know... I know you would never do something like that. I am just stating the facts. " she shakes her head.

"So what do I do... Just accept her offer, you know I can't get too attached. And I am so sorry to say..." I lower my voice. "being with someone... Like that... that close makes you attached."

"It is totally your choice kiddo. We trust you. But I personally think that you both have chemistry." Amar says.

"Fuck the chemistry. Tori am I done." I say shaking my head.

Tori sighs and wraps me up in the next ten minutes.

"Thanks Tori"

As I exit the room she places a hand on my arm stopping me.

"How long is this going to go... He is being so hard on you these days."she whispers.

" Just till I am 18 Tori just a few more months please. It has been so long. I can just wait for a few more."

" You don't deserve this. This story has to come out."

"I can't. He is fucking paying for college."

"You are the star player, Four. You'll get a scholarship."

"I don't want a case Tori" I say. "I am late, I told her 5."

"She is still here?", Amar quips in.

"Yeh"

I look at him thinking of a snarky comment and I walk away before it comes.

* * *

I see her through the glass door, sitting at the steps down to the parking lot, waiting...

She turns at the noise of the door and looks me in the eye as I stare at her from my place... Awkwaaaaaaard.

Her voice breaks the stare game, "You're 5 minutes late."

"yeah sorry about that" I offer her my hand to get her off that step. Skin on skin, my fingertips burn. I feel the heat seep into my hand as her soft delicate ones slide into mine. I take her to my car and once we are comfortable... we start.

Here goes nothing.

"Soo what made you send that text?" I start just to break the awkward silence.

"Four... you know we hadaexyhat night"

"What?"

"We had sex that night and none of our friends know this and I want to keep it that way and then I had that date and shit happened and I just thought..."

"Tris you're making no sense"

"See, I can't go and beat around bush anymore. I want to have sex again... With you. I have my reasons which I don't want to venture into right now."

I keep staring at front, a blank wall adorning our view. Nothing interesting. Thoughts pass my head. One thing stuck to my mind.

"How... Um... How was your date?"

"Seriously Four!", she huffs.

I feel her hesitate for a moment, an internal debate on if she should tell me about the date or not. I fucking bad want to know. I dont even know why. The burning returns to my chest as she speaks up.

" He was cute. Initially I thought he wasn't my type but apparently he is more interested in knowing me than just having a physical relationship. And that is exactly the reason I want that with you...", deafening silence "a physical relationship."

What the fuck! "What!".

"I mean he is a nice guy. And I don't want to ruin anything between us. He is Wills's cousin so he is reliable. And..." she pauses as of her next sentence was the death of her. " I think I can finally try it out." she turns towards me.. " you know... Dating".

I stare at her trying to put the pieces together.

"I mean. I know I don't have to be necessarily physical with him to be in a relationship and he totally agrees with that but the thing is I don't even want to be a total noob. Do you get that?... It is like at some point or the other in the future... We might be you know... Doing it."

I am at a loss of words.

"So your telling me that you want to date that guy and... But. Have sex with..." I take in a breath trying to control my mind and words, "me?"

"Yes kind of that but I have not told him that we were like.. You know going to. He is totally fine with it. Like I told him that I need like a few weeks to get ready to be in a relationship. We will be dating for a week and then figure out if this is working out or not... I mean it is a good idea right. But the point is that.. I wanted to... You know... Discover myself more before I rush into anything fast... Like know my likes and dislikes, my limits and like you know learn new things and... "she trails off.

I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE her. Right now. Fuck this is messed up bad... Real bad.

Just the thought of Tris dating that guy is making my nerves crackle and ache.

"Why don't you go and fuck him then" I turn my head towards the window trying to bite down my rising temper.

I hear her sigh. "Look, he has practically been the first guy not to jump at me like a hungry beast wanting fuck me. He wants to get to know me." her voice quivered with emotion. She closes her eyes and sighs. "... And I like him. It feels like I can go beyond. I can hope for something good out of this... After a long time. " she whispers ghe last part as if the words would vanish if she did not. "

" I still don't get it... "my insides are tearing apart. Maybe he was the one. She likes him." why" my voice cracks "... Me?"

"Four you are the only one who knew that... It... Um... Was my first. I mean you were my first. And I don't want to mess it up with him so I wanted your help"

The burning in my chest is rising... Like it is on fire.

"He can't know that... The way he looks at me. I really don't want to mess this up." she turns her gaze towards me but I can't look at her now.

"Four, you have your restrictions and I have my inhibitions. It is not like you are in a relationship and it is not like..." her voice reduces to a whisper, "it meant something... That night, no strings attached. It was all physical, just two bodies connecting."she looks away out of the window." We can't afford anymore. Amd I know you can't afford anymore. I understand what you want and what you need, shirt is off limits... I get that. No touching your back... I get that... Not much control... I respect all of it. You will not have to tell the next girl all that. The rules are stated. You have your way and I have my own inhibitions. We both are so similar in that way. "

I could hear my pounding heart in my ears. I close my eyes and feel the fire burning my insides into ashes. Everytime i feel the fire... It has been something fierce. Always aggressive. Fighting for dominance. But this one is different. It is like sizzling coals. There is no flame... But it is not complete inaction. It feels like the coals are at work making their way through my insides burning me up and leaving behind... nothing.

"Four... Are you okay."

"Let's get you home." I sigh as I reverse the car out of the parking lot.

I park in front of her house. Never looking at her. The ride was still.

Complete silence. No work spoken, no action relayed. "Its your stop".

"Seriously Four!" she huffs.

I keep silent because if I speak... Something I think it might be regretted later on.

I never look at her. This was it right.

The end.

"I just poured my heart out to you and you have no answer for me." she says waiting for me to continue the conversation. Eventually she gets the hint and slams the door of my car and starts walking towards her front porch.

"Tris" I clear my throat. She stops short but never looks back. Her back facing me I pluck up all the energy to speak. "If he really cared about you... It wouldn't matter if you were a virgin or a beginner... Or anything."

I know it was going to blow up... Or worse... Get emotional. Maybe she was right. Not letting emotions come in. I can't. I won't have to let another girl know of the limits. She will respect me and... I will respect her. I will have a degree of control. Just enough to make us both happy. And it would be... Perfect. No emotions fucking up our relationship. Purely physical.

I drive away before she can look at me just because I know. I would have taken up her offer then and there. But to be honest... I needed time.

* * *

**TRIS POV**

I stand there... Staring at the car reducing into a speck with each passing second. I knew I had spilled out all of it. Even though I did not want to. It was easy... No. Easier than others.

It was easy to talk to him. It has always been. But this time, he left me with my thoughts, alone. I slip into the house. Expecting mom and dad to be back after 2 days of their New York trip but am met with silence...and a note from my mom telling me to take out the dinner from the fridge and keep enough for dad and her.

I crumble it in my hand. Thoughts filling my head and killing my appetite.

If he cares enough... It shouldn't matter.

But it was not him. It is me. I dont want to mess this up and I don't want my fears to hold me back this time.

I drag myself to my bedroom flopping down on my bed and staring at the ceiling like it had a wonder world in itself. I can do this.

I push aside my bed, and face a small box with the key beneath the mattress.

This is it.

I sit with the box in my hand. It has all my memories. Good? I don't think so.

My hands tremble and my heart pounds. On the verge of a panic attack.

I had been determined when my 15 year old self stared back at me in the mirror that i was never going to open the box, but the thing is. That it had to break. My determination, my rejection and my denial were coming in my way of staying happy. I knew this was a bad idea. But I had to face it. Today... Or tomorrow.

The box was mostly empty. Just 3 pink pens. With red ink. A Polaroid and a diary. My story encased in a little box, out of my life, out of my mind, locked away underneath my bed.

I run my hands through the pages. They were wet... Once. In the past. Round droplets of water adorning the surface giving the ink a slight smudge at places. And polaroid photographs in small envelopes. Which were never opened since they were put in there.

My breath starts to get heavy and silent tears slip into the already wet pages. Making new spots of what will become dried water stains. I shut the diary and focus on my breathing, trying to get my shit together. I feel breathless. Lost. I hear my voice then. Sobbing into my own ear. My hands wrapping my own folded legs in hope that they were someone else... Someone I could trust. Hoping that my heart will calm down stop the tears and make everything fine... Someone who can let me make forget everything. Start new... and fresh. I push the box under the bed again. And get myself to the bathroom. Staggering on the way. Grabbing my bottle of pills. I can't go long enough with them... Especially these days. My hands shake as i get two of them out of the bottle and gulp it with some water. My eyes start to close. Maybe the tiredness of the day settling in. My body feeling numb. I drag it back to the bed and curl into a ball. As if the position would protect me well... from everything bad.

* * *

**(AN: Is Four going to accept the offer!?) **


	26. Give It A Whirl

**(AN: Hey guys! Thank you for reading my story. You are a really great part of the journey of this. Love you all. also this chapter contains adult content _sexual. So please read at your own risk) _**

* * *

**TRIS POV**

**_Chapter song : Treat you Better by Shawn Mendes_**

I wake up to a soft hand rubbing against my arm. Even though she hasn't been there for me... From a long time. When I needed her. I could never forget her touch.

"Beatrice, honey breakfasts ready. I wanted to have a talk before I leave. We will be back home today for dinner but dad is gone now and I really don't want to talk about this in front of him."

"Hey mom. When did you get home"

"1 in the morning. The flight was late and they-"

"as usual expect you on time again"

She sighs as if tired of being around me. What an irony. Duh.

"Baby, it is just my job. I can't help it."

I sit up against my pillow and ask her, "What did you want to talk about?"

She clears her throat and says, "I'll get your breakfast here."

As I brush my teeth, yesterday's evens run over my head. I finger the sticker in the bottle I used yesterday.

"ANTI-ANXIETY PILLS"

I HAVEN'T have had to eat those since the past 2 years. Ever since I became 'known' at school as a major player. Having 'fake' one night stands.

My clothes had become more revealing but not to an extent that I wear none at all. But some part of me couldn't just get over the anxiety about my looks.

I am cut out of my dream as mom places a plate on the bed. I grab my hair into a ponytail and move to sit on my bed across my mom.

"woah pancakes. Is it something special" I grab a huge bite into my mouth.

My mom chuckles as she starts, "no. I just wanted to cook today." she gives 5 second pause "so... Beatrice.. I received an email from school. They said they are starting with the health education program this semester and it would be graded. So there are parts of it that they wanted the parents to discuss with their kids. I know I am mostly not around but this is really important. "

" okay go on. " I scoop another large bite into my mouth.

" Beatrice I know you are almost 18 and you might want to... Discover new things... You might be curious. And I am totally for it. But you need to be safe. And they talked about a section on... " by this time, I am as red as a tomato. I open my mouth to stop mom from venturing any further but she lifts a hand and stops me." let me finish I have to get to work and God... This is so hard. Okay so I'll be direct believing that you know what we are talking about. See the thing is that I know you want to explore new things and trust me even I wanted that and I did. The school will also be talking about this but it is important for the parents to know what their kids are doing. I know most kids are faster than the school and they have already done it before the school teaches them the basics but it is a good initiative. " I open my mouth again but stuff it with pancakes to distract my eyes from mom's," I am not going to stop you from doing it but I really need to make sure you don't compromise yourself or take any risks while... You know. And it is super awkward for me but we need to have this talk. If you ever have sex,"... I almost spit out my pancake when mom says that word." please use a condom." she continues ignoring my spiting condition." Beatrice, I am going to give you pills. But they don't work until a month it is your choice if you want to use a condom or a pill. According to me you should use a condom because pills may have side affects and I don't want to risk it for you before anything happens. We can take a test and then we may find the suitable pill. Also they protect you from std's... "

" Mom stop! I know that okay" I say to cut her out.

She sighs.

"I trust you honey, just make right choice. I want you to never regret any decision of yours. Find 'the' one okay. And don't let go out of hand. Remember... Too much control or too much submission is... Kind of harmful. It all depends on you in the end. Just be careful. " she stares at me for a second, her hand on my cheek." I love you honey... I need to go now. Bye. " I sit there red as hell as she exits the door only to peep back in," oh honey are you driving today. "

" Yeh I am" I smile at her out of embarrassment to hide the tint of red all over my face. "Bye mom."

I close the door and I turn back to my closet. "F7ck me" I huff out.

I pair my skinny jeans with a simple crop top and put my hair in a braid.

Pretty good.

I get to my locker once I park the car just to be interrupted by Christina as she babbled on about some song that she liked.

"omg Tris you totally have to come over on Friday. I saw this really cute movie that I want to watch with you. Also we haven't had a movie date in like forever."

"God Chris calm down, she will be there", Will interrupts her.

"Hey pancycakes!" Uriah comes in with Mar.

"Uri cut it out." I say.

"What I am hungry" he grabs the sandwich out of Will's hand and chomps down on it. "a growing boy's gotta eat."

" Okay guys so we had this idea of going zip lining on Friday" Mar says.

"No we have a Movie date that night m

Mar, how can you forget!" Chris whines.

"Oh shoot, I totally forgot. I think we should go ahead," she turns to Uriah and starts to speak only to be cut off by him, "Uri Babe,..."

"Nuhuh we are going zip lining" he says "No excuses ladies."

The group is still incomplete... I wanted to know where Four was, a lingering apprehension of the consequences of yesterday's talk. "Uri, where's Zeke... And Four" I gulp down my my own saliva which had collected out of sheer panic.

"Oh Zeke is outside and he was going to wait for Four out there they had some football shit to discuss."

As if on cue, Zeke enters with Shauna smacking him on his head. He tackles her as they come closer.

"Guys cut it out." I shift my gaze to Four behind Zeke, looking handsome as hell. His muscles peeking about just enough through his black T shirt. Leaving the rest to imagination. His pants fitting him... Well... Quite... Fine. His bag casually over his shoulder and the other one in his pocket.

They stop in front of the circle joining in the conversation. I turn off my surroundings... He is trying so hard not to make eye contact but ends up doing it anyways. I hear him suck in a breath as he turns his gaze away.

"Okay WE ARE GOING ZIP LINING ON FRIDAY"

"Uri you're full of shit" Shauna says "sabotaging our night".

" Okay guy wait. We can go zipline before your night, will that work." Will says.

"No" Shauna an Mar scream.

"Okay wait... See the zipline would hardly take like 1 hour, we got plenty of time after that. You girls can go to your movie night we will drop you" Zeke cuts in.

"Oh and what will you be doing till then" Shauna say moving across Four to reach Zeke causing him to move towards me. " I know you guys would be hooking up at some bar watching strippers" "No that's not happening."

"Darling you will be the only girl I want to see naked for the rest of my life" Zeke says in a ridiculously cheesy voice.

"God stop it.. Pervert" she laughs it off kissing him on lips. She likes that... A lot.

"Groooosssss PDA" Uri yells.

"Okay wait, you guys promise me that there will be no strippers at wherever you go okay then this plan would work" Chris says.

Just as I go on to agree to the plan, I feel someone place their hands on my hips, the hands slide onto my stomach holding me from behind. My body freezes as the hands slide across my belly botton to pull me back into a warm solid chest.

" Hey beautiful" his voice, warm like honey rings in my ear.

I turn in his arms... Relaxing finally. "God, you gave a heart attack Eric" I slap his chest with my arms. He chuckles it of. I hear Uri whistle.

"Who do we have here"

"Sorry girls he is taken." Chris's voice rings in my ear as I turn to face them again I realise she is talking about both of us. Standing between Four and Eric.

I roll my eyes.

"So people, meet my cousin, Eric Coulter. All the way from VEGAS" Will says.

I can feel Four tense up beside me. His body stiff and rigid. He is standing up straight. Eric puts an arm across my waist, I smile up at him, hyper aware of Four practically scorching me with his gaze.

"You didn't tell me you were coming today" I ask him.

"He wanted it to be a surprise, he has been here since the past half an hour." Will says, chomping on off the second sandwich.

"God you two are already so cute" Chris says.

I feel him shift from feet to feet, heat radiating off his body.

"Tris we are going to have a loooong talk on Friday" Mar says.

"God guys we are not dating." I say looking up at Eric.

"Are you sure" he narrows his eyes at me.

"How did you get in in the middle of the session" I hear his voice as my face looses part of its smile.

"Oh it was a sports thing. You know football." he smirks at Four eyeing him.

"Wohoo, welcome to the team man." Zeke claps him on the back.

I feel Four staring at me.

"Well Eric, I am the quarterback." Four moves his hand to shake Eric's all the way looking at me smirking in process.

They shake hands as if it was a business deal. So formal. I feel chills passing between them. Icy stares. Eric pulls me closer to him. My smile vanishes completely as I see Four's muscles tense again. Rigid and aggressive. He clenched his bag strap his knuckles white.

Eric knows something is up between us. Me and Four.

He looks down at me bringing his face closer to mine. I pull back a bit putting distance between us but still in his arms and smile back to cut out the tension.

"I am going to steal my girl... Bye folks." he pulls back completely interacting our fingers and turning back.

"Eric stop it" I give him a disapproving glare. He ignores it and pulls me away from the group towards the other way.

"You need to give me a thorough tour, Babe." he says as I trail behind him, him holding my hand as of I were a lost child. I dont like this.

I cant help but turn my gaze back to his intense one out of all my friends... Only his. And I see it.

So clear. So true. So sincere. He is hurt. And he is angry. Upset. About something. My heart tells it has something to do with Eric. And I don't want to believe what my heart tells me this time so I turn back towards Eric, his arm slipping over my shoulder pulling me with him. I tune out my friends voices.

"Goooshhh I am sooo happy..." Chris can be heard.

The rest of the day goes by pretty uneventful. Until the time I dreaded.

Lunch.

As I sit opposite to Chris. Four sits far away as possible suckling on his tetra juice pack talking some shit with Zeke.

Eric hands me my juice which he offered to get from the counter and sits beside me.

"So bro, what are you doing on Friday?" Uri starts.

"Nothing much, just getting some shifting and cleaning done with mom"

"Well I thought your family is not coming after till a time" I say looking at him.

"oh yes... Its my apartment. I brought it here. You know... I wanted to be... Independent." he says looking around the table.

"Bro you already got an apartment. I can't even afford my clothes." Zeke pips in.

"That is because you are always getting these stupid video games." Shauna to the rescue.

"hey I am not that bad." he says defensively.

"So Four I heard that your father was in the government" Eric says. "Isn't he like on the council or something"

"Yes" he grunts.

"Bro chill. Why are you so grumpy. It was a simple question. I heard my mom mentioning him. He is pretty awesome. She met him once. They knew each other in high school." he says a tone of mockery in his voice.

Four tenses at this. He goes pale.

"You better shut your mouth Eric, this is not your place speaking..." before Four can finish Zeke starts to diffuse the tension. Eric has a small but noticable smirk on his face.

" Well there are a lot of government officials in here." he laughs making others laugh. I dont know what happens by my laughter dies when I see him. He is not in a good shape. He looks away to the queue in front of the lunch counter trying to find someone or something to hide behind. But... Why? It was just a simple question.

Uri continues, "Bruh so I was asking will you come with us zip lining on Friday!" it wil be so awesome.

"Yeh it's a great idea. A good bonding time with the gang Eric. You should totally come after school." Will says.

"Guys I'll think about it. It's cool i think I'll make it after school"he says.

"Well," Four says with a bite of food in his mouth, "Don't you have to help your MOTHER Eric" "I don't think she would appreciate her son hanging out with rich fuckers and getting his own ass spoilt."

Eric's face twists into a painful angry expression. Just the reason that Four offended Eric doesnt bug me. But it does not thrills me either.

"okay people see you in gym." Four says. Picking up his tray an dealing to exit the lunch hall.

I stare at him back. His broad shoulders not too broad but taut with well defined muscles. Just enough to show he is extremely strong and fit. He is not buffed like many other guys... Lean enough to make him impeccably hot. I see his muscles flex as he pulls the door open to exit the hall. I can't get my eyes off his black hair, my hands were in there a few days ago as he took away my virginity, they were soft... Soothing... Calming. My hand slipped through them scratch ing hard on his scalp pulling at the hair sometimes. They were just the finest ones I had ever touched... Just long enough to pull and short enough to nake him look sexy...

I realise that the rest of the world was there as Eric turns my attention to him. "Tris we should leave its almost time." The table continues to chatter the girls bantering about whatnot and Uri feeding in certain compliments. Zeke... He is quiet. Kind of thinking. He knows Four too well. Maybe that's why.

Eric pulls me with him as I am lost in thought. I stand in front of the line to deposit my tray as lunch is almost over, Zeke comes behind me whispering into my ear, "Tris be careful." I can't help but suck in a breath before he passes me ahead to the line.

The rest of the day is again uneventful. Even though Four and I had some classes and Eric was with me. He never paid any attention that he earlier used to. He was awfully quiet and he was laser focused. It seemed as if he was pulling away. From all of us.

At football, Amar introduced Eric again as the new member of the football team. Eric shakes hands with all the players and they start a new game today.

"So he is a good kisser huh?" Chris says, practically drooling over Eric as we warm up in our pairs.

"We have have been on one date Chris. We have not kissed and that is not happening for a long time now."

"Come on baby... Kiss him already" Shauna quips in from beside us, warming up with another girl.

"Shau, you guys have boyfriends!"

"Jeez I know she was talking about you baby girl. He is hot." Chris says.

"Okay guys warm up is over... Positions now." Tori yells.

As Chris hoes and gets in her position Shauna lingers back, "What was with Four and Eric today, she narrows her eyes at me" shoot.

"God how would I know. You guys are practically pushing me with him to be his girlfriend which I am clearly not" I walk ahead as I hear her huff out my name.

We practice for half and hour as we take out 5 minute break. I see Four playing. Sweat being his forehead and arms as he passes the ball to Edward. Eric tries to dribble it out between them but Four ends up pushing Eric a but to his side. Harsh. He falls down and scrapes his knee and Amar halts the game.

"Yo man what the fuck are you doing Four?" Amar yells at them.

Four gets off Eric and offers his hand to him with a smirk. "Sorry Amar".

They resume the game again and Four is being aggressive again. He gives Eric a cold shoulder as they speed past the field all throughout with the ball. The game ends up being full of struggle and a lot of strains. Eric is in a bad mood by the end of the practice as he goes straight into the building to change. I get it that he is pretty good at everything getting a scholarship concession and whatever the fuck to get into Dauntless High. But Four is our star quarterback. No one is as good as him. At least not anyone I have met. He is almost at the top of the class and he is the heartthrob of the school. He is okay to deal with when you are friends with him. You have no legit shit to talk about or you are enemies with him. He is going to make your life hell. And in here i felt it was the latter case. Now Four and Eric were officially enemies. It was too obvious.

* * *

I hear the shower go off as I wait outside the girls changing room for Christina.

She comes out and gives me the way to the shower. It was her turn to shower first today.

"Here you go Tris", She says as she leaves to change into her clothes.

As I continue showering, my mind starts reviewing the day. Phew. It was tough today. Eric never said anything to him even after they had their little thing on the field. He left with his car after he had showered. Four, as always had lingered on for practice. No wonder he is that good. I get out of the shower and we all get ready to get to our respective cars.

Zeke and Shauna had to go together today and Chris and Will had to go together.

As we all part ways in the parking lot I realise I had left my wallet in the girls locker room. As I get back to the locker room, I hear Four talk to Zeke in the boys locker room on my way.

Wait, wasn't Zeke like with Shauna a moment ago.

I leap towards the edge of the room trying to hide towards the side.

"Bro she sent me in again to talk to you. I told her it was nothing and you don't like to talk about your family." I hear Zeke say.

Apparently Shauna seems to be upset at Four for behaving towards Eric aggressively.

"Zeke he is a d*ck. Did you not see that. He knew that my father was in the government and he rubbed of his house 'that he apparently bought himself' on me just because my father is fucking rich. What does he think of himself. It is not like we are eating out off our parents money in everything" Four says.

"Bruh you sure you mad about that" Zeke asks a bit sceptical.

Four sighs, " Of course I am."

" Look I am not doing this because Shauna is my girlfriend or anything and she told me to come and talk. I am doing this because you're my friend and I need to make sure you're okay. You came off a bit aggressive today man."

"Well you like him, why not be his friend instead."

"Four I am not being his friend. Friends care for each other they tell each other stuff which you clearly aren't. And I damn care about you and I hate that asshole who did what he did today. But you know what, best friends are supposed to know what each of them are going through. And I know that there's more to this. It is not just the money comment that ticked you off, was it. You're so full of shit for not letting me in. Imm trying my best you know. " he huffs." I know there is something else that bothered you today and come and tell me that when you really feel that we are friends. " I hear footsteps and Zeke storms out of the room not even noticing me against the other wall in the opposite direction.

I keep put in my place for a second. As I stand in the corner and breathe in deeply absorbing all the conversation.

I try to step around the area to leave whan Four appears at the door sighing to himself, his bag in his hand.

As I try to move back to my hiding spot, I hear him say, "Tris is that you."

I turn around gingerly. Closing my eyes afraid to meet an angry face.

He chuckles, "Oh god open your eyes".

I take a deep breath as I drink him in, he looks... Umm, I know I shouldn't say this but he fucking looks yummy

He wears a casual hooded muscle tee with his grey shorts on, sunglasses hanging off his hoodie. His arms flex a but as he tightens his hold onto his bag.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

Just so you know, my mind is completely incoherent of making up any thoughts right now, with him looking like that. Four... NEVER wears something so exposing.

... Or maybe just not in front of me. I eye him and try to piece up a sentence,

"Umm... I uh waas just going to get my wallet..." I try to walk past him coolly "which I accidently left in the locker room".

As I pass him, I feel him turn. A musky scent and a metal scent invading my senses.

"Tris! Do you umm... Maybe like have a ride home?"

"Yeh I came in my car.", I shift from foot to foot. "I should... Go" I awkwardly pointed towards the direction of the girls room as I move towards there.

I stop short suddenly. Remembering Zeke's words.

I know there is something else that bothered you today and come and tell me that when you really feel that we are friends.

"Four are you okay" It comes out as a whisper.

I thought he did not hear that. And i was glad for a moment but... He did. He heard it and he sucked a breath in.

"You heard?" we both know Zeke was talking about today. The way he tensed around Eric, the way he became aggressive. I know maybe I was to blame. But I never want to accept that.

"I am sorry." he doesn't reply.

"Four listen to me. I never meant to -" I start.

"If you didnt mean to you would never want sneak away like that." he says nodding his head.

I have no answer to that. Because I had lied and it was clear now.

"It has changed hasn't it?" he says. "We believed and we tried to not... But it did."

"Why were you angry at Eric, Four?" I ask.

"Maybe you should know that better." he says.

He has the first time openly said ut in words... Directly of the situation between us since Friday night.

"Four I am trying my best to not let things change... But you know It is a FACT that it does."

He looks away as if to dodge the subject.

"Was it that obvious today... With Eric?" he asks.

I kind of nod my head to the sideways.

"You like him a lot don't you?"he asks.

" I mean, he is cute but... It is just a try. We both need to be comfortable. " he says nothing," Four, you shouldn't have pushed him" I whisper

"I did not push him. He came in my way and I just shoved him aside. Now you're lowkey defending him." he smiles a little. "I am too fucked up aren't I?"

"I am not trying to defend him. We are not dating. He was pushing it today. I don't even know if this will work out."

"Why me TRIS?"

"A few months ago I thought life was all about finding... The One for you. But apparently that only exists in fairytale and romcoms. They look good on screen real life is fucked up. For everyone. In one way or the other. And i thought. We have already done it. We both are the same. Fucked yp a bit in our own ways. Who could I even trust more than you then. "

" You trust me?"by this time we are closer. Standing close. Just not close enough. So I lean up and kiss his cheek only to pull back and find him biting his lip.

" Yes I do. " I whisper looking him in the eye. Sincerely his stare back at me.

I see they are wet. Moisture collecting at the end. I just want to kiss his tears away. I have never seen him this... Vulnerable.

"You don't know me" he places his hands on both my cheeks. Holding my face to his. "I can't open up, and I don't think I ever will Tris." he takes ina breath. "You can be happier. With Eric" then the first tear slides out. All moisture disappearing again. He is closing off. "I do fucked up things because I am lost. Sex... It has always been a distraction to me."

"let it be your distraction and let it be my discovery" I whisper.

"But I am not the one for you Tris. It will all be messed up"

"I don't want open up. You don't have let me in. I just trust you." I say. Something shifts between us. The energy. Heating up the place. I turn around just because I can't take it anymore. His hands which were earlier on my face fall to his sides. I try to walk away but i feel him grip my wrists. Hard. Rough. But Surprisingly. I like this rough. This touch even though it may leave behind marks.

He pulls me back and pulls my face in roughly placing his hand on the back of my head. His hands tangle in my hair, the other one still holding my wrist.

In a flash, I am in heaven. His lips on mine. Flush against mine. He kisses me rough this time. As I said. I like this toughness coming from him. He applies pressure, his hand loosening and his attention all on my lips, I turn around his other hand sliding onto my hips. Gripping it in place. Holding Me down while I think I might pass out. He tastes... Soo good. Numbing my senses. His tongue thrusts into mine. I kiss him back hard. My back arching I push into him further. His hand going to my ass the other one massaging on my scalp.

I push him towards the door it rolls back into place as we stumble in.

He finally pulls back. Looking at me. Fire in his eyes.

"It will be fine." he says. Determined. I smile a little.

"I'll get this changed then we will go home okay" he says pointing to his muscle tee.

"No" I pull him back holding his shirt in my hand "I like it."

He keeps staring at me for a second and there is a complete shift in the atmosphere around.

"Fuck going home" his voice is hoarse as hell.

***️️️***

**MATURE CONTENT AHEAD:SEXUAL**

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

* * *

.

His lips crash into mine. As we stumble deeper into the locker room towards the showers. I know where it is going and I know what I want our of it.

I pull him closer as his tongue leaves my lips to my neck tracing along the jawline, I close my eyes in ecstacy and crave for air as he leaves me breathless.

"Four, the room" I manage to squeak out between my laboured breath and panting.

"No one will come" he pauses to speak against my skin as his hand reaches behind to latch the door.

He turns his attention to my ear as he nibbles on it. I can't take it anymore so I pull him back to my face kissing his jawline and sicking on his throat alternatively.

His hands wander to the hem of my top as he slips a hand inside to feel the clip of the bra. He undoes it first leaving my shirt on. I push him back a bit finding with his belt on his stomach well aware of his shirt limit of his.

"Shirt" he says. As he flungs his hand under the shirt along my curves up to the bra and tugs at it. We pause and break apart as I get my shirt off and through it somewhere in there in the shower room. I have my bra hanging loosely as his hands push aside one of the cups and his mouth kisses down my neck. I get my bra off completely just in time for him to suck in a breath and paying attention to my face as his hands kneed my bouncy beasts. They have gotten quiet big since the past two years.

All that can be heard in here are moans and grunts as I slip my hand to undo my shorts doing the same to him. He gives me space to get out of them as he gets his Bermudas off and throws it somewhere behind us. The wall is still wet with droplets of water on them. Indicating that someone had showered in here a few minutes ago. He pulls away a little and he looks at me saying restlessly, "We are going to do it your way." my hands grab his ass as I fall into his chest and turn us around so that my back is facing the wall and he is almost on top of me. I pull down my panties and one of my legs wraps around his as my hands dip to pull down his boxers.

" Off"

He steps back and pulls down his boxers giving a pleasant view of... Well you know what.

"Okay it is going to hurt a bit... It is just the second time." he says his lips on mine moving against them.

His mouth goes back on my lips trailing a line of kisses down to my breast. He kisses around my breast over the exposed skin as he avoids the nipples. Fuck you Four.

He is such a tease." Mouth on me" I pant out as his lips go round and round all around my breast. Still avoiding the nipples.

"Fuck. FOUR!" I yell out as he pulls me up a bit. Hoisting me a bit higher me on his thighs. His lips latch to my nipples as he kissed the hell out of me.

I put my hands around his neck, burying my head into the crook of his neck and I gently bite his skin there and am honoured when he hisses into my ear. I climb up further higher and align myself with him. "Okay go, fast" I say breathlessly.

AND then it happens... In rhythm. I buck my hips with his, both of us setting the pace fast and hard. Unlike the last time, this is hurried. And hot. Heat swaps into me as he pounds against my entrance. I put my head back in pleasure and close my eyes. All that can be heard is a lot of moaning and a lot of grunts.

As I reach my edge I know it was all going to end.i can feel him on the edge too. As he empties into the condom and I feel my back muscles relax against the dew drop wall. He buries his head between my breasts, breathing hard.

I sigh into his hair which I had been pulling at wildly and relax my head against his hair.

"wow" I hear his say against my skin.

***️️️***

**MATURE CONTENT ENDS:SEXUAL**

**I DID WARN YOU**

* * *

"Well, that was something" I chuckle.

He pulls me down and we both dress up. As he tries to get out of the shower i hold him to stop.

"Four, we are doing this right" I ask.

He smiles getting a huge ass smile out of me as well.

I get my hand in a shaking position as we give it a curt handshake.

"No commitment, no sorry's.."

"no thank you''s, no attachment" he continues.

"No forcing,..."

" Agreed mutual liking, agreed clauses stand"

"Just sex." I complete.

"Deal" he smirks a bit.

"Deal"

It was on. A distraction for him and a discovery for me.

* * *

**(AN: Well that was something. Okay so I wanted to apologise for not updating earlier. This si actually 2 chs together. So extra long) **


End file.
